Talk About Frozen…

frozen_fruits_1-t2I was so excited the other day because I had the apartment to myself.  I don’t know if other people work the same way, but all I can say is I need to be alone when I want to work on something.  Be it a dance or memorizing a monologue.

  • Reason number 1:  I get easily distracted.  It’s true.  Sometimes Perry watches some terrible tv show and when I am trying to write, I begin to mock the dialogue.  Now my whole train is derailed.
  • Reason number 2:  I usually do what the next whim tells me to do.  So I could be working on a story but a song may play that makes me want to dance.  From there I may want to see if I can still do the splits.  So I will try.  (The answer in case you are wondering is no.) But gimme 6 months.  I get embarrassed though, so I can’t stay focused or truly get into it.

So I had the whole place to myself for HOURS. Freakin’ HOURS!!!  I thought of all the things I would do.  The writing, the dishes (I know that’s not creative, but they ain’t gonna do themselves), weird dance moves I would commit to memory so if I choreograph again I have something bizarre for dancers to figure out.  I thought of the collage that I have been wanting to finish, and the track pants that I need to sew together to complete.  I tell you, I have no shortage of projects begun.  It’s worse than my knitting UF.O.’s (UnFinished Objects)!

I pulled out my poäng (it’s a CHAIR from Ikea. You dirty birdies!) and grabbed one of the MANY notebooks off of the shelf and started my story ideas.  I came up with about 9 different ideas, but when I tried to open them up a little more or dig deeper, they were rehashes of something that someone else has already done.  I don’t wanna do that.  After about 15 minutes of doodling on my notebook, I realized that my desk was a mess! I couldn’t work like this.  So I made the papers into nice little stacks, as opposed to actually putting them away or tossing them.  But I found $5!!  Score!

Then it was back to staring at the soft blue lines on the semi shiny white page.  And staring.

Nothing was coming to mind.  I didn’t even have the desire to get up and dance when Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out for a Hero” came on.  (I have this whole 80’s dance I wanna do to it with a group of dancers)  I always wanna dance or at least sing with this song.   The video makes no sense BUT I adore the song.  There’s nothing a good shoulder shimmy can’t make better, right Elizabeth Lawrence?

I was truly frozen.  It wasn’t until the oven timer went off that I remember even having an actual thought.  I was truly frozen in my chair with a notebook in hand.  I don’t know exactly how long I was like that.  Once that timer went off, I was startled out of my stupor and went about life.   I am still unsure of why I “shut down” like that.  I wasn’t asleep, at least that I know of.  I recall seeing the leaves outside moving and everything.  I just don’t understand.

Any suggestions on how to “thaw out” the old melon?  I know conventional thought is: write anyway even if it isn’t great.  The practice of writing will open up some door for you to walk through.  I would love to know what other ideas you, dear reader have.  Any thoughts on why the mind shuts down? Hmmm… Pondering… Pondering…


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