Last October, at my BFF Sarah’s birthday/dance party, I got a tarot card reading.
For those of you that have never had one, I would equate it with getting unbiased advice from a deck of cards.
I was given a deck of cards to shuffle and as I did so I was asked to think to myself a question that I would like help with. So as shuffled, my mind raced because there are a million questions that I would like help with. My guess is that my subconscious knew the real question that was in my heart.
Here’s the draw that I got
The bottom row (what I remember anyway, after all it was nearly a year ago) is my foundation. The first card, Chariot, I was told means that I am really good at controlling things that I have control over. Just as in a chariot you have to control the horses and which roads you take all the while you have to make sure you don’t fall off the cart yourself. The second card, Illumination, means that I have a good grasp of the knowledge that I need in my “field of work,” if you will. The third, Trust, means that I am secure in what “path” is.
Here’s where I freaked the hell out.
The second level of this is about your passion. The first card is who you are. And this, THIS is what I drew…
I REALLY want this as a tattoo!
She said this is what you are at the core of your being. And out loud I have never proclaimed or embraced or spouted it to people that I meet. I say I enjoy doing it, but never outright say I am an actor. But to draw this card from on top of a pile of 50 other cards and for it to land where it did, tells me that I need to follow my path. The card after, Guardian, describes the will I “have” to fulfill my need to become the “I AM” card.
The top and final card that was drawn was Compassion. I was told this is the missing piece to what I need to make it all come together. I need compassion for myself. Like most creative types, I am Über-Critical of myself and anything that I am involved with. I drill it into myself that I am not as good as so and so, or not as talented as so and so. What I forget is that I am NOT so and so. And as such can only do what I can do and to know that I am potentially someone else’s “so and so” to which I say, “You, my friend, ARE better than So and So! Now go and show them how good YOU are!”
As my astrological sign begins its rule over the heavens, I look back on these last 9 months and I smile. And to be honest, I have cried in gratitude as well. I feel like I have accomplished a lot! I can feel it in my body. I wake up tired and achy, but in my heart, I am so happy.
The funny thing of it is, as I look back at the last half of the year, I am thinking to myself “You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet, folks!”