Inspiration or Insanity…

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Image taken on 4/13/14

I have been called crazy probably a million times.

Lemme ask you something.   Is it crazy to look for ideas from the world around me?  For example, the picture above is actually a white strip in a parking lot that marked the spot that I parked in.  Upon opening the door, I looked down immediately and saw this.   I know most people will see random grey and white markings and not much else. To me, it looks like a cosmic notice calling out.  I can see my name.  Well, at least the first 3 letters.  What are the odds that I was just about to put my foot on this exact spot as I got out of my car.

This is how I see the world.  Check out this:

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Image taken on 8/14/10

This image I took in the parking structure of the Santa Clara Library.  It is simply a tire smudge on a column.  I see a Native American tribal elder.

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Image taken on 5/12/12

I call this one a Crystal Skull.  I got this image when I was closing a window one day.  This is just a reflection off the glass, but it freaked me out a little.  I know that our brains are  hard wired to look for patterns.  Facial patterns are usually the easiest ones to recognize. I find a ton of them in the dots on our bathroom floor.

I don’t like to think of myself as crazy, though I can see why people would use that word. I know that my imagination is always working.  Sometimes it is a curse when I can’t turn it off at night.  I like my skewed view of the world and even though I see a lot of dark things like this image above, I try to always focus on the fun and happy things.

Goofy things are the best kind of things and they always seem to find me.  I call the next one “red Wilson”  Hahahahaha.

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Image taken on 4/14/14

I never thought I would find a use for any of these pics aside from the first one, but it was nice to dig back in my photos to see this pattern emerge.

I look at the world and see things all the time that I glean ideas from.  The smallest things like  a steady stream of cars  driving over a grate give me the beginnings of a beat for music which I usually forget before I can get to a computer.  I will see the way a vine trails up a stake and seek to place that motion into a dance step.

Somewhere in my “insanity” I find my inspiration.

How do you get inspired? Nature hikes?  Those are fun, too.

It Is Finished…

Cast and Crew of SUPERSTAR being goofy!  Photo by Edmond Kwong
Cast and Crew of SUPERSTAR being goofy! Photo by Edmond Kwong

I have been pussyfooting around the acknowledgement that this show that I have lived with for the last 13.5 months has finally come to an end.  On my last two days off of work I was expecting to get hit with a blast of depression that comes with ending a show.  One of this magnitude, I was sure would take me out of the game for a while. But it never came.

When we started this show, I said I see this show as a fight for love.  Instead of the show being a simple Judas wronged Jesus, it was accidental.  There was no one to “blame.”  Everything was supposed to happen.  Like Jesus sings, “You’re far too keen on where and how but not so hot on why.”   I wanted a positive spin on the show.  I also wanted Jesus to be as human as everyone else.  My hope was that people would be moved to see a fellow human being treated so horribly during act 2.  To see that he was afraid and sad but still willing to go through this for his love of the people.  I had the white out at the end to ask the audience to look inside and find your love for your fellow man and for hope that this world can be a better place in doing so.

Then I was lucky enough to get this amazing, supportive cast! But my luck didn’t run out there.  One of the very first things I fought for was an amazing sound department which was an incredible 3 man team.  So John, Dan, and Brett: Thank you for an outstanding job with this difficult show!  The crew was small but mighty and headed by an amazing Stage Manager, Ms. Pye! I am grateful to the amazing producers Nancy and Liz, who worked so tirelessly to ensure that the vocal director, Judy, and music director, Jean, and I had everything we needed.

I have realized that there is a reason for the non-depression.  As I disassemble the Blooming Wall, I have the chance to read all the beautiful paper “flowers” with things that people love.  Simple things.  And I understand that we did exactly what we set out to do.  We did share the love.

And so did they.  With that in mind, what is there to be depressed about?

To ALL of you, I cannot say thank you enough.

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Keep Your Eyes on the… Oh Tap Dancing!

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Antsy that I didn’t have a next project, aside from something I need to create from the ground up, I auditioned for the baseball play “Take me Out” and for the musical “Crazy for You” to varying degrees of success.
The play is being produced by Dragon Theater, and I have been trying and dying to do a show there.  At the callbacks there were about 15 other gentlemen there. The ones I auditioned with were all great. That didn’t make me nervous. The nudity in the play didn’t make me too nervous, but what I think was my kryptonite was when the director had me only read for one of the characters that only speaks Spanish.

NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo……..

Damn, delicious caramel colored skin. I know some Spanish, but I cannot carry on a conversation! Curse you, terri ble high school decisions!! Why did I opt for French, when Spanish is so much more useful? I am sure longtime readers can see the pattern that I never take the easiest route. That’s what I get for being an “on a whim” person.  After the reading, he actually said, “I completely believed that you were fluent in the language.  That was really good.” I felt much better after he said that. 
Sadly, my happy fuzzies would only be a fleeting moment. He then asked us to circle up and after doing so, he brought out a baseball. It looked like it had been well used. The dirt on it wasn’t just on the surface of the ball. It found a home in the small wrinkles of the cover and stained a majority of the surface. He began to use it as a type of hackey sack for his hands. Each time he would use the back of his hand to catch it, I could hear the hard ball knock against his knuckles. He wanted us to do the same and being the slight germaphobe that I am, I already didn’t want to play. With everyone’s hand in the center, I figured that odds are pretty good that I wouldn’t have to touch it.
Yeah, those were terrible odds to count on. I dropped the ball like 4 times and threw it wildly to, or more accurately at, someone. Ahh, then the horrible memories of high school phys ed came flooding back and all I wanted to do was to get back into my car and drive away and sing. No me gusta, my friends. Not inthe slightest.

Then, last Thursday, I got to audition  for “Crazy” which was a show I didn’t really know much about. After some research, what sold me was the character motivations. I realized only after I got to the hall that I had no music, as I had spent much of my time searching for tap shoes that have long been missing thanks to a car break-in and a pilfering of my dance bag. So sans music and sans taps, I nervously walked into the hall.  There was a quick round of “how do you do’s?” Sides were given and we got right into some renditions of “Happy Birthday” and then into reading. I never try to think “what can I do to be funny” because that never seems to work for me. Instead, I try to find an exaggerated way of saying a word here and/or a line there that I think may make sense in a regular conversation. It doesn’t always work out, but I lucked out.  There was a lot of laughing and I left there feeling good about being able to play with the script and finding some solid moments with only a handful of minutes to see the scene.
And now we wait…
Welp, as I was writing this, I got my “thank you for auditioning” letter for the play.  Not that I was expecting to get in.  Just glad I didn’t chicken out of going in the first place. Feels good to move past a blockage that I had created for myself. Oh, there is still a wall there, mind you. It’s just now there is a window for me to jump through whenever I decide to open it.

With the P.E. feeling still fresh, I wish I tried to participate more in the group games.  Archery and track were the only things I did more than half well.  Do you think a more partipatory role in high school sports would have been beneficial?  Did you have a good experience in your P.E. classes? Or were you more of a lone player like myself?  Lemme know in the comments below!

Thanks for readin’!