Even If A Door Closes And Another Isn’t Around…

Windows-open

Always check the windows!!😃😃

Dearest Reader,

Today, I got that dreaded email that no actor likes to get: the good old “Thanks, but no thanks.” 😟

I promised myself the year off. So really, for me nothing has changed. However, as I have been really unmotivated to work on learning new monologues or audition songs, I have spent most of my time doing research, hanging out with friends and seeing shows. On top of that, I have become a professional napper. 😴 Yes, yes. A NAPPER! Me, the guy who can’t sleep at night because of fears and wants and a whole lot of whatnot.  This has put me in a mindset of “I’ll get to it later.” I am beginning to wonder if this time off thing was a bad idea.

So while I may have been given a “T/NT” letter, I still get my year off AND I soon get to announce what my kick off project for 2019 is going to be. 👏👏👏(That reminds me, I gotta look into some swing dance classes…)

I also think I lost a bit of my magic at the end of March that involved a high stress situation that we came across. Don’t worry, Good Reader, everything is ok now, but for a hot minute we were a little panicked.

Now, I get to be panicked about other things! Yay and Boo all at the same time. 😂🤯🤪 Just like getting that letter, but not really having it make a difference. There needs to be a hashtag for that… So while I am disappointed, I need to keep my mind focused on what I set out to do at the very start of all this and get back to it.

I now need to find a way to draw out what I had in me before March happened so I can finish that script! Maybe I need to go back to the source material and play with it. Like make it a game for now. I can record the different characters and listen to it for inspiration? That actually may be what I might do.

Thank you, Dear Reader! I knew you could help!

Until our paths cross again…

Keep Your Eyes on the… Oh Tap Dancing!

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Antsy that I didn’t have a next project, aside from something I need to create from the ground up, I auditioned for the baseball play “Take me Out” and for the musical “Crazy for You” to varying degrees of success.
The play is being produced by Dragon Theater, and I have been trying and dying to do a show there.  At the callbacks there were about 15 other gentlemen there. The ones I auditioned with were all great. That didn’t make me nervous. The nudity in the play didn’t make me too nervous, but what I think was my kryptonite was when the director had me only read for one of the characters that only speaks Spanish.

NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo……..

Damn, delicious caramel colored skin. I know some Spanish, but I cannot carry on a conversation! Curse you, terri ble high school decisions!! Why did I opt for French, when Spanish is so much more useful? I am sure longtime readers can see the pattern that I never take the easiest route. That’s what I get for being an “on a whim” person.  After the reading, he actually said, “I completely believed that you were fluent in the language.  That was really good.” I felt much better after he said that. 
Sadly, my happy fuzzies would only be a fleeting moment. He then asked us to circle up and after doing so, he brought out a baseball. It looked like it had been well used. The dirt on it wasn’t just on the surface of the ball. It found a home in the small wrinkles of the cover and stained a majority of the surface. He began to use it as a type of hackey sack for his hands. Each time he would use the back of his hand to catch it, I could hear the hard ball knock against his knuckles. He wanted us to do the same and being the slight germaphobe that I am, I already didn’t want to play. With everyone’s hand in the center, I figured that odds are pretty good that I wouldn’t have to touch it.
Yeah, those were terrible odds to count on. I dropped the ball like 4 times and threw it wildly to, or more accurately at, someone. Ahh, then the horrible memories of high school phys ed came flooding back and all I wanted to do was to get back into my car and drive away and sing. No me gusta, my friends. Not inthe slightest.

Then, last Thursday, I got to audition  for “Crazy” which was a show I didn’t really know much about. After some research, what sold me was the character motivations. I realized only after I got to the hall that I had no music, as I had spent much of my time searching for tap shoes that have long been missing thanks to a car break-in and a pilfering of my dance bag. So sans music and sans taps, I nervously walked into the hall.  There was a quick round of “how do you do’s?” Sides were given and we got right into some renditions of “Happy Birthday” and then into reading. I never try to think “what can I do to be funny” because that never seems to work for me. Instead, I try to find an exaggerated way of saying a word here and/or a line there that I think may make sense in a regular conversation. It doesn’t always work out, but I lucked out.  There was a lot of laughing and I left there feeling good about being able to play with the script and finding some solid moments with only a handful of minutes to see the scene.
And now we wait…
Welp, as I was writing this, I got my “thank you for auditioning” letter for the play.  Not that I was expecting to get in.  Just glad I didn’t chicken out of going in the first place. Feels good to move past a blockage that I had created for myself. Oh, there is still a wall there, mind you. It’s just now there is a window for me to jump through whenever I decide to open it.

With the P.E. feeling still fresh, I wish I tried to participate more in the group games.  Archery and track were the only things I did more than half well.  Do you think a more partipatory role in high school sports would have been beneficial?  Did you have a good experience in your P.E. classes? Or were you more of a lone player like myself?  Lemme know in the comments below!

Thanks for readin’!

Like Martha says “It’s a good thing”

Most projects are collaborative.  Theatre is collaborative.  Whatever you do for your 9 to 5 is also this.  On rare occasions, I don’t know if the magnetic poles have to align just right with the stars in Orion’s belt in the Southeastern Hemisphere at the precise midpoint of the moon’s lunar cycle, but some times people listen to all of your ideas.  And I don’t mean they hear them then skip over them to the next topic, or completely shoot them down. What I am talking about is the ideas that get heard and dialogue begins to happen and the idea expands and morphs into something, hopefully better or more useful.

My friends, today has been that day for me.   Over at the nursery, I had a little pow wow with my boss and conversations just bounced around the room.  Then at rehearsal, Elisa let me adapt and manipulate and reinterpret my lines differently than I did in the past, and she didn’t even blink an eye.  I think she knew that I am still tweaking and modifying character voices and movements and I feel like when I work with her I don’t have to always ask for permission to do something different.  I truly love the freedom that I feel like I am allowed in order to put my best character forward.  Aside from basic blocking, every thing that I did tonight was different from the original rehearsal of the scenes.  Accenting different words, created more interesting speech patterns and new ideas and feelings.  Thus causing new physical reactions with my fellow actors.

We ran through Act 2 tonight, and while there were parts that are a little bumpy, the shape is there.  Tomorrow we have a design run through, and I am crossing my fingers that they, the designers, will bring some new energy to the cast and it’ll feel like something brand spanking new.

I wanna take this feeling and put it in a little box, tie with a corn silk bow and place it under my pillow, so I’ll always have it.

It’s definitely a good thing!