Can’t wait, but…


Hello Gentle Reader!

As you know, I am stepping into a director role once again for 🎷 Smokey Joe’s Cafe (which I lovingly call SmoJo’s). I didn’t think that I would direct again after Jesus Christ Superstar. 😔 It wasn’t the complete vision that I had and made way too many compromises for it to end up the way that I wanted. It wasn’t my vision, but I loved every person that worked so hard on it.  My only wish is that I didn’t compromise what I wanted. 😉

I had mentioned that I was hesitant to direct to a good friend the other day (even though I have already accepted the position, yes, I know how it sounds) and she had some great advice and said “Don’t be! You learn from every situation, so whatever happened last time, learn from it and don’t let it happen again! You will make mistakes with every show…”

As I sat listening to the talented people 🎤 belt out tunes during the initial auditons, the voice of self doubt kept popping up and asking “are you sure you want to call XYZ back for XYZ role?” or “are you sure you can bring the best out of these people?” 👿 It was hard to shut it down. I am so glad that I have the team that I have. We laughed so much with each other and were all excited by all the people we had come out and sing us a song. The laughter does SO much to help squelch that voice. Something about sharing laughs with people helps me bond and connect them. Do you ever notice how laughing settles nerves and most uncomfortableness? It helps me so much. 👍

My Dear Reader, I was initially worried that we didn’t have people banging down the doors to audition but the number of people that did, had brought a lot of great stuff to the table. When I got home, after the second day of auditions, I KNEW I had a cast in there.

I slept so good that night! LOL. 💤

Oh, Gentle Reader!  Knowing that I have 9 roles that can be filled 3 or 4 times over by these auditionees puts my nerves and heart at ease, but that stupid worry voice, while muffled, is still there. Am I the right person to lead these 9 people to a packed house of spectators that will be blown away?


I am. Thank you ❤︎, Jillian, for giving me a different way to look at this! So once the decisions are hashed out, I will happily pour as much of my heart and soul into this show that I am asking the performers to give to the audience.

And I can’t wait for you to see what’s in store!

So my Kind Reader, what do you do to get over that little voice that makes you doubt yourself? Or maybe you don’t have that issue… if you don’t, damn! I would love to be you.  Well, like you. 😉

Until next time, Dear Reader.  I look forward to talking about the callbacks… but that’s another post. Muahahahaha!!!💖💖


I Survived Day 1…


Disclaimer 1: I wrote this part while having breakfast before auditions.

Even in spite of all the meetings and thoughts and numerous ideas I have committed to my trusty notebook for this, TODAY really feels like the day when I am beginning this brand new adventure in theatre.

In previous meetings, we have discussed the personalities of all the main characters, what their motivations are, what we are listening for, what the set looks like, what the costumes are going to be like, where the orchestra is going to be situated, contingency plans if our audition turn out is less than desirable, and which songs will be “danced.”

Along with the meetings, the numerous spins of those disks in my car and repeated plays in itunes, and the time that I took to make a 30 second dance combination for the people who audition, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that I am going to be responsible for this show.

The thought not only makes me giddy with excitement, but it, in a very small way, terrifies me.  People have constantly asked me “What’s your concept for the show?” They stand there waiting, wide eyed and truly interested.  And to be honest, I had thought of a number of different ones, but my favorite was having JFK or MLK “as” Jesus and setting everything around that.  There are different conspiracy theories surrounding JFK and Dr. King is such a good example for nonviolence and equality of his time; I thought it would make for a very new spin on the show.  Feel free to use the idea if you would like.

Then, I thought about the venue.  I know the patrons and subscribers and they enjoy the traditional tellings of shows.  And I thought, as a new director, would the idea be too big to pull off in a clear way, as in would I get to bogged down in the idea that I lost focus of my true characters.  I remember a wonderful man telling me, in a cafe many months ago, keep things clear and simple. So with that in mind, I decided I will keep the traditional look, but let’s play with the way things are being said. Once I began to dig into the lyrics, there are a number of times that if you merely change the person that a lyric gets sung to, new possibilities open up.  All you need is a door to walk through to get into a new room.

What worries me is that this particular show, while I have a tremendous fondness, it is not a very popular musical.  Many people either A. hate anything that says Andrew Lloyd Webber on it, B. hate the rock music, or C. hate the story.  There are so many great parts and some of them I am really willing to cast nontraditionally, again…door.

But if you were to just forget about who is in the story and the why’s and think about it as a story of loyalty, love, and guilt don’t you think it is intriguing?  What would you do if someone you love asked you to do something that could cause them physical harm?  Could you do it?  Why?  Or better question, why not?  If that person told you it would be a huge benefit to so many people, isn’t your refusal selfish?  There are so many questions to ask and so many answers to find.  I just hope that people will get their tickets and explore this journey with us.

Disclaimer 2: I am writing this after Zombie Prom performance.

Before we began, I thought about something my director for Pippin said to me about auditions.  She told me,  “Don’t set an expectation for particular people to show up. Sometimes life gets in the way and they can’t make it.  Be open to the people that are there and what they bring to the table.”  I tell you, it made all the difference in the world.  I felt more relaxed and enjoyed the process a hell of a lot more emotionally.  Physically, I feel a little worn down, but so thankful to the many talented people that came to audition.  The prospects are looking pretty good even though it was only the first day.  I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.  Yeah, my body may hurt a little now and I will be stiff as all get out tomorrow, but these first auditionees make it all worth it.

We have another day of auditions tomorrow from 6:30 – 9 at the Saratoga Civic Theater in Saratoga, CA.  Come on down, sing us a song, and dance a little bit.  It’ll be fun!

How To Succeed…

I know that the auditions for West Valley Light Opera’s production of How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying are coming up, so I’ve been doing my homework.  The first time that I heard the Matthew Broderick version of the show, I thought, meh.

I recently watched the movie version and was mostly creeped out rather than impressed with it.  Because of this, I have to say I wasn’t really looking forward to these auditions.

So today, I reluctantly put in the newest version featuring the guy who plays Harry Potter.  What’s his name again?  Kidding, he’s brilliant in the show.  I actually enjoyed listened to the whole show while I was doing the laundry.  While I was folding away and I found that I felt lighter in foot than normal when doing such mundane chores as this.

Now don’t get me wrong, the staff that West Valley has assembled is a trio of positivity and fun. Of course that makes for some happy times to be had.  When I first heard that this show was going to kick off next season, I was so happy.  Then I found out the staff and I was over the moon.

So I went back to dance class, not only to work on my technique and remind myself of things, but to get my mind set ready for the audition.  Can I just say that playing catch up for three different routines is not as fun as I thought the challenge of it would be.  I guess I over romanticized it to myself.  Don’t get me wrong as I am having a crazy good time. Seriously.  My body is sore as hell and I’ve got some bruised areas, but it’s so fun, I wish I was able to have never stopped dancing.

Relearning the different weight changes for the different styles is frackin’ nuts.  It took nearly half the class for me to get my hip hop swagger (yeah, right. Like I really have some.) from walking around working on my posture for the modern class.

We’ll just have to see what happens.  Still can’t figure out what to sing though.

Got any suggestions for a song?  Feel free to leave them in the comments section!!



Day of Reflection: Day Six

While I’ve been hunting down auditions for myself, I kept coming across the same sort of post.  It went something like: Such and such production company is looking for actors for a future low budget/feature film/indie picture.  Looking to cast: Leading Man – 20-30’s Caucasian; Secondary Character – 20-30’s Caucasian…That is just a generic wording of the dozens of disheartening casting calls that I found.  Then I got to thinking “well it’s no wonder that so many people are now taking control of their own careers by making vehicles specifically for themselves.”  So I got to thinking about all the little projects that I had at one time or another began working on and then just lost track of what I was doing.  So that lead me to a theme for podcast 16.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot

It’s really hard to only pick five people when there are so many people that I care about.  Especially all the people that have taught me so much and so much about myself.  I think I have to cheat this one just a little bit and cluster it up just a bit.  I hope you don’t mind.

5. Karaoke friends!!  You guys have given me so many great laughs in the short time we’ve been meeting up.  I look forward to them because it just helps to laugh off all the worries of life for just a few hours. Thank you for that.

4. My blood family because without them, I wouldn’t have such snappy comebacks for people.

3. Tommy O and Holypigeon, for being absolutely amazing people to learn a million things from.

2. Notblue and Hubby for being absolutely amazing people to watch grow and to grow with.

1. My munster because you’re my munster!

If I truly had to pick my five, here are four of them.

I can’t tell you how much fun this trip to Napa was!  I would eventually love to go back again with these same people.  We shared this amazing apartment style suite and spent two days there.  I wish I didn’t smile so big.  I think that’s what makes it look fake.  I should probably take a cue from my friend at and practice smiling in a mirror.  I just can’t stand looking at mirrors either.  Aside from looking at myself, one of the other reasons is that I freak myself out and think that the mirror me will move when the real me didn’t.  If that didn’t happen, I would be afraid that someone would pop up behind me; as in ghosts or something.  Or if it’s at night, the power would go out and when it came back up, something else would be looking at me.  Creepy.  Man, I think I really gotta lay off the horror movies.  Speaking of which, is anyone else interested in seeing Anthony Hopkins in “The Rite”?  Opening Day is January 28.  Wait, does this make me a glutton for punishment?

Who are your five important people?  Do you have so many people that you need to cluster them up too?  And do you wanna go see “The Rite” at the end of the month?


Episode TEN of TheActorvist Podcast is running along with the show notes posted.  All you have to do is click HERE. The podcast features an interview with graphic designer and painter, Carmen Reid; Can you help a knitter out?; and an brief look back at opening weekend for “Shakespeare”.

Also, I have added some audition notices to the audition page, so see if  there is something that you would like to try out for.  Just click HERE.

If you follow this link to GOLRSTAR, you can get $5 tickets to “Shakespreare 3 Ways” at Theatre on San Pedro Square.  There are only 2 more performances left!!  Saturday 7/24 at 8 pm and Sunday 7/25 at 2 pm.  I hope to see some of you there.  Have a great weekend.

It’s time for Episode 5!!

Episode 5

(Click to listen)

Special thanks to Samantha Stidham, Lisa Milanes, Kyle Dunnigan, Podsafe Music Network, and Danny Ippolito for their contributions to Episode 5.  Check out the shownotes for this episode by clicking HERE.

Hope you enjoy it.