Over the past few months I have cut back on my television watching habits.  I’ve picked up more books and magazines and even my knitting with my new free time.

I really only try to keep up to date on a few shows like The Big Bang Theory, AFV, Castle, Walking Dead, and  Ancient Aliens. And when their seasons return: So You Think You Can Dance, Breaking In, and Destination Truth.  Oh, and SMASH!! But that’s new, so I kinda forgot to mention that.  Everything else, if I catch it, cool, if not, oh well.  I felt that TV was wasting too much of my time.

But it just hit me while commenting on a friends Facebook post regarding the television show, Supernatural.  My idea of TV is a little silly.

My realization was this: While I think that a lot of shows aren’t my cup of tea, it could be an opportunity to not only watch and but to analyze the acting, the writing, the casting, the costume design and the direction of any show.  Whether or not it’s good, could be irrelevant.  I could figure out why it is or isn’t my cup of tea.  (Usually, it’s only tiny moments that I happen to catch while walking in and out of the room.)  As someone who would love to pay my rent and my bills with the paychecks I would earn from gigs, why would I not utilize the free time I have while watching TV for something a little more productive rather than just a passive voyeur of what’s on the screen?

This then brings me to other contradictory quirks I have.

Let’s take pictures.

As someone who loves to be on stage and in doing so, have people watch, why can’t I get past my aversion to having my picture taken? There are special times when I power through my issue, such as for the Fatty Affair event.  I think it’s because feel like moments are meant to be fleeting.  And the moments that people do want to capture are what have passed and so they try to recreate them and thus making it less true.  I don’t mind the candid shots.  Of course, I always have the most horrid looks on my face when these happen.

Speaking of horrid.

I enjoy going to the theatre and going to the movies as well as watching movies at home.  The thing that these activities share is that the lights get turned down so the focus goes to the stage or screen.  The original storytellers were cavemen.  They told recreated the events of the day’s hunt and relayed it to the clan crowded around the fire.  There’s something in our ancient self that still enjoys the shared experience of listening to a story together.   I love it.  When it comes to scary movies, they are totally my faves!  Hands down, no doubt.  When the lights come back up, I can logically sort out in my melon all the things about the film or show that make it impossible to be true.  But at night when it comes time to go to bed and be alone with my thoughts, my imagination, the thing that helps to transport me to different places and times on stage, begins it’s process of putting me in a new place with influences of what was recently watched.  Because I refuse to try and control my imagination, I do believe that there are things that go bump in the night.

There are times when I feel like my imagination is my biggest asset.  It helps me to create or recreate worlds and people.  Conversely, it sometimes feels like my imagination is my biggest fault.  Sometimes, I feel like I can’t leave those worlds, or when ideas arise, they are overwhelming when I know that they can be pared down and streamlined.

There’s a quote that comes to mind.  It’s from Clive Barker’s “Nightbreed” that says, “Everything is true.  God’s an astronaut.  Oz is over the rainbow.  And Midian is where the monsters live.”

Have you ever noticed contradictory things about yourself?   Please feel free to share your contradictions or not.