Author: theactorvist

I love the Theatre. It's my church. It's my joy. I have been performing in plays and musicals for over half of my life, and I would be lost without it. Now more than ever, people are cutting back on everything that is too expensive or unimportant to their lives. As an actor, heck as a person, I don't know of anything that is more important than the arts. Art reflects history. It shows humanity at its worst but also its best. Every day some artistic program is getting cut from a school or a great show goes unseen. Maybe a talented singer isn't able to audition for American Idol. There are a ton of people who live in the South Bay Area of California, who go unseen or unheard. There are many production companies that are just bursting with talent, but people don't see the shows. I will do my best to bring you interviews with local artists of every kind, send out the call for local companies looking to cast people in productions, and much more. Stay tuned because this is only the beginning.

🎼 Where Is It Written What It Is I’m Meant To Be; That I Can’t Dare To Have The Chance To Pick The Fruit of Every Tree…🎶

Hello Dear Reader!

I didn’t have much to say this past year because as you may recall, I was taking some time off.

Over the last 11 months, I went through a major blast of anxiety and my doctor recommended therapy because he said I was suffering from acute depression. With everything that is happening in the world, I feel like it was a normal response to have.

Nothing went as I had planned as far as the theatrical pursuits that I had made goals for. Even my survival job was literally on survival mode. While that ended, they bought my skillset with a contract agreement and I am only giving them a year which ends in August of 26. It has already been a trying time and I don’t know how much longer I want to grow with this place and the inefficient way it runs.

Then, at the end of summer, I had lunch with a dear friend of mine, and she invited me to be a part of a cast that will be performing for a 60th Celebration. The first thing that popped into my head was all the times that I told people “sorry, I can’t. I am taking the year off.” Sadly, I have had to do it more than I really wanted, (you would be surprised how easy it is to say no after a few times.) because this was a promise that I had made to myself, and I am terrible at keeping them when they are for me.

I am not a people pleaser, but when it comes to close friends, I will do things for them, so saying no was a big deal. Initially, I was feeling like I would be missing something but I realized that I needed to complete this goal for me, because I fail all the time when it comes to keeping promises to myself.

This offer was different, however. It was kind of like a giant thank you for 60 years of opportunities given to people to play on stage and bringing different friendships together through this amazing community and it isn’t often that a chance like this comes along.

How could I say no, Gentle Reader?

Additionally, all of my goals for what I wanted to accomplish this year, were frozen. Thank you, Anxiety and Fear. With everything going on in the country, I hated going anywhere. More often than not, I simply went to work then went home. I decided that I didn’t want to risk going to any classes because all the places that I wanted to take them was in other cities and I was too afraid to drive anywhere outside of my 3 mile radius alone.

This was also a major contribution to my depression and furthering my disappointment that I couldn’t keep to the goals/promises that I had set. When I was talking to another friend, I had mentioned that I really didn’t think that I was interested in theatre anymore, which led to a talk about what I was looking for since all I had focused on in the past was this art form.

I didn’t have any answers for her. Once the doc said that this feeling could be part of the depression, things began to make more sense to me. I made some efforts to go out for more walks and journaling more. I have found that I did feel a little better and my interests in just life in general returned and I found my anxiety was lessened.

Maybe, Kind Reader, this is exactly what I needed.

Until our path across again, stay safe and alert. ❤

🎼 When The Lights Go Down In The City, And The Sun Shines On The Bay…🎶

Hello Gentle Reader!

Well, Sunday marked my final performance for a while, but it was anything but uneventful. 😂 I get to the theatre that afternoon with the mindset that we are going to have a start time of 2pm and I would be back home and in my pajamas relaxing the rest of the night away before chaos week at my survival job. First, I think I have to note that the temperatures were easily in the 100 degree range and possibly hotter. Once you start broiling though, you can’t really tell if it has gotten hotter.

5 minutes to curtain and my casemates get into their places for a reveal that happens shortly after we begin. The “Places” call is made and I head over to spot where I catch a pair of pants that are thrown to me offstage. The curtain speech is made and the main curtain is pulled open and I listen… waiting for my cue to enter.

Up to this point, you could hear this group of people is ready to laugh. They had some good vocalizations while the first actor is giving his exposition speech. I hear my cue “they’d eat the linoleum off the floor if it had a vinaigrette on it”

With that, I am on stage. I get to say, “Maybe his plane is late.” Then slowly, the lights flickered out. Or maybe it felt slow. 2 minutes into the play, the power dies! My cast mate and I stood patiently waiting for a minute or so, in the hopes that it would be a quick little blink of the lights.

And there we stood for what felt like 10 minutes, but was more like a minute in reality. I finally turn to the audience and said, “so how are you doing today?” We had a laugh, but I wanted to keep people in a cheery mood, so I kept talking…

I recall saying “believe it or not, this isn’t the first time I have been in this predicament.” I told them a short story about when I was in White Christmas there was one performance that the lights went out due to winds from an upcoming rainy night that was expected. While we had 2 flood lights at the back of the theatre, they weren’t powerful enough to light the stage safely enough to complete the show. Instead, we offered conversation and the cast gathered on the stage and we sang some carols with the audience. It was really quite a lovely moment to be a part of.

Very kindly, many of the people offered to use their phone lights to keep the stage lit, but I said, you don’t want to drain your battery! Especially if we are in a true power outage.

One of the people asked me to recount the time that I was in Lend Me A Tenor (which was the whole reason why I wanted to be in this show) and how it is to take on the role of Max again. I know I had written about my experience and as I am sure you know, Dear Reader, I am terrible at marketing myself. Instead of saying that I had a whole blog post about it and they could read it on TheActorvist.com, my face hole said “I can’t fully remember the details. But I have a reason why…” then spouted (like some sort of snob) that I was in several shows that year that rolled into each other that it was hard to recall all the details. Only after someone from our stage crew gave us the hook did I think about trying to recount the blog post itself.

UGH!!! I could kick myself. LOL

I feel very lucky that even though it was only a small majority of the audience would come back for the postponed start time, they were a lively bunch. What a way to end a super fun run! The cast and staff were absolutely wonderful and the rehearsal period was short as was the run. It couldn’t have been more perfect. Even with all of our oopsies. 😂 Or would a plural of oopsies be oopsieses?

What out of the ordinary thing has happened to you in a theatre? Did I tell you about the time that someone was breathing oddly and unresponsive during a show? Wait this isn’t about my stories 😳 I want to know more about YOU!

Thank you again, Kind Reader for your time and until next time… Stay safe and alert and take care of yourself and those you care about.

❤️

🎼 4, 3, 2, 1… Earth Below Us, Drifting, Falling, Floating Weightless🎶…

Hello Gentle Reader!!

I hope you are well. With only 3 more performances to go, I find that the idea of having time back to myself is levitating me as I move through space. There is a sense of joy and fear.

Joy for all the things that I want to try and fear because what if I can’t return to this same level? But in the end, I have spent so much time putting off things that I have wanted to learn and finally decided that if not now, when?

In the past, when I “planned” for time off and I would get a call asking to see me, I would oblige with the idea that I was only using auditions to keep skills in check. Then when casting would call, I would have an internal struggle of should I or shouldn’t I. Clearly, in the end I always should-ed.

However, this time around feels different. I feel more mentally in tune, and sure of myself that this is the right thing to do. I have already been asked to consider looking at a show and I politely declined. I am not even going to give myself an opportunity where I would be tempted.

Dear Reader, have you ever put yourself in situations with one mindset only to find that it created an internal struggle? What did you do? In the end, did you keep your original intention? I am curious as to how often we put ourselves in these kind of situations and the outcome becomes something that sticks with you through life because of the experience. I am not so much thinking about how the experience affected, but the idea of that intention you had and whether you discovered something new in that little inner conflict.

I have been wondering how these little battles within myself have changed my perspectives, colored my choices and what that does for my process when I think about the characters I play. Is every little battle in that character evident? How far back do I need to go when I build this backstory and how will that color the world the character sees?

When I am looking at characters, I build a backstory, but this new idea has sprung in my head that has my curiosity just tickled so I have been contemplating how I personally have been informed by this.

In any case, Kind Reader, it is just 6 more hours until I begin the prep for the final weekend of performances. As always, I thank you for spending a few minutes to read my ramblings. I would love to know if you have ever thought about what these mini conflicts do to your view of the world. I always kind of just shrugged it off, but it was pointed out to me that more and more lately, I have had moments where that battle comes up and comes up big.

Until the next time, stay safe and alert and take care of yourself and those you care about.

❤️

🎼Happy In My 2nd Life, Headset On, I Could Be Anything…🎶

Hello Gentle Reader!

Life is quick and fleeting. You blink and a season is gone. You can busy yourself to the point that a whole year has gone by faster than you feel like it should have.

But you already know this. None of this is news… right?

A lot of time at work I am clock watching, just hoping to leave my survival job to be turned loose onto the world to play with whatever idea my brain has an itching for. Sometimes the scratch feels so nice it becomes a passing hobby. Then sometimes that hobby entangles you in its web of intrigue, detail or escape. Then sometimes it can swallow you up and fuel you as you burn the candle at both ends learning, doing, becoming.

And then, when you come up for air, Dear Reader, you find that time has become a stranger to you. Well to me. Nieces and nephews sprout like corn stalks, Mom looks a little more sleepy, Hubby is a little shorter and Dad becomes a little quieter. I wonder to myself, “was I being selfish to follow this passion of mine to the floors of so many different stages? To meet literally hundreds of people? To tell stories to people that may change someone’s heart?”

How could I not see all of these changes to the people that mean the most? So I decided that I was going to actually have my cocoon year that I wrote about a bit ago…

and I was going to include the last quarter of this year as an added bonus!

A glorious 15 month hiatus is in the books for me and it begins very very soon! Already I can feel that this was the correct choice. On Sunday, it was the first night where I didn’t go to bed thinking about what my character’s childhood was like, or how he would react if the stakes were only life and death or his relationship with the donut guy who is only in one scene. I didn’t stop to think when I could find time the next day to study my script.

And I slept through the entire night.

I couldn’t believe it myself. My overactive brain, shut off like it was supposed to and I slept.

When I woke up on Monday morning, I noticed immediately that something was different. Here’s a small confession, Kind Reader, I always wake up a little grumpy. For like the first 30 minutes of the day or my shower which is one of the first things I do. My step was a little peppier. The day felt pleasant, even the sunshine was welcomed when I opened the curtains in the living room.

Some people don’t think I can stay away. And they may be right, but it won’t be to be on the stage. Maybe I will pop in to help friends learn lines or just to support the rehearsal hall one night a week. I am not expecting to fall out of the community, I am just going to refrain from committing to any shows so that I can run away for the weekend if my whims should demand me to. 🤭

In my survival job, we accrue sabbaticals over time, so I am just taking a small sabbatical from theatre while I learn some new tricks and try to do a little exploring. Strengthen my familial bonds and create more familial bonds with my dearest friends since they are already like family. I guess this is my bondage era… wait that came out wrong. 😳

Thanks so much for offering me up a little bit of your time, Gentle Reader. I appreciate you and it. I would love to hear from you about something you are looking forward to. Something I am excited about is the fall season. I think next month I will do a 30 Days of Noir and of course October is 30 Days of Horror. November could be 30 Days of Rom-Coms, but that is still up in the air.

Let me know what you have coming up that you are excited for!? Until next time, stay safe and alert and take care of yourself and those you care about.

❤️

🎼Hot Summer Streets & The Pavements Are Burning, I Sit Around. Trying To Smile, But The Air Is So Heavy & Dry🎶

Hello Gentle Reader,

OMG I have tried to complete the post about Kinky Boots for the last 2 months and by this time, I can’t add any of the photos that I want to now that the writing was finally finished. But then I went back and read it, and it was trash. There was no flow to the post and the thread of thought that I initially had doesn’t work because I literally spent 52 days trying to add to it to get all my thoughts out but it was a jumbled mess.

So I am scrapping that post altogether and just moving forward. 😵

The newest project is a fun little farce that is a great way to wrap up a really fun summer! Although, I have to say that I think unless I am rehearsing in an air conditioned hall/space, I don’t think summer shows are going to be for me going forward. 😄

I thought my big ass was gonna pass out with the heat we were dealing with here. Several days in the triple digits when my optimal functioning temperature has a max high of 75 degrees 🤭 made me feel like a polar bear in the middle of the dessert. All I wanted to find was a fridge to crawl inside.

This next project is Ken Ludwig’s Comedy of Tenors. Not exactly a sequel to the hilarious Lend Me A Tenor, but could be considered as one since 4 of the 7 characters are the same just older. With that being said, please note that one is not dependent on the other. And to make it even better is that this is my 6th team up with director Allie B! I may be more of a nuisance to her at this point. She is probably thinking “Why do I keep bringing this fool into my projects?!” as she shakes a fist to the sky. 😂

Of course, Sweet Reader, I am saying all of this in jest. At this point, she is a dear friend and I enjoy the shorthand that we have accumulated over the course of these projects. Nearly a decade ago, I was lucky enough to play Max in Lend Me however, Allie was not the director of that project. As a matter of fact, I have a post about it. It was a great lesson that I learned doing that show. It was one of those things where I was so sure that my way was the right way but found that I can keep my intentions the same but add different actions and the stage picture would be what the director was aiming for.

That lesson has helped me in so many ways. It has given me the courage to ask for clarification when I need it if something isn’t clear right away so that I don’t build up frustration. Not only does it build and feed the collaborative spirit but it really makes me feel like I am freer to try creative choices. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t but being able to feel the impulse and adjust your intentions to it in the moment really lets me live in the world on stage.

Opening night is just a few sleeps away, Kind Reader and we are getting into costumes and mics the next few rehearsals. I wish I still had the glasses that I wore for this character last time, but alas, the frames bent at some point and I could never get them back to the same shape they were before.

Interestingly enough, that is the same feeling that I get when I think back about Max. Being much older and a little wiser, I know that the way I am revisiting this fellow isn’t quite the same. Granted, the character has also done some growing up. So maybe not having the glasses is a good thing. One can still see that squirrely, tense, ambitious dreamer that he used to be but time has altered the shape of his world a little with a balancing act of artist and husband. It is a very interesting emotional arc that I get to play with and shape and I hope that the way I am playing it will pay off for that beautiful ending that this play has.

Well, Dear Reader, I thank you for once again, taking a few minutes of your life to entertain the ramblings of a vagabond actor looking for ways to make sense of this human experience called life. Before I sign off though, I am curious if any of you have looked back and examined where you are now versus where you were 5 or 10 years ago? Have you grown in the areas that you have wanted to? I hope you have accomplished what you have wanted. I know that Max has some unfinished work. As do I.

Until the next time, stay safe and aware. Take care of yourself and those around you.