Welcome To BEDLaM


bedlam-001Dear Gentle Reader,

Merry Christmas! (I am a day late…thumbs down to me.)

When I say bedlam, to where does one’s mind fly off? For me, it immediately travels to a situation not unlike a mental institution more often than not or where there is a lot of madness/chaos e.g. Target on Christmas Eve, Walgreens/CVS on Christmas Day…but bear with me…

Bedlam: a place, scene or state of uproar or confusion [Merriam-Webster}

To say I hear voices would paint me as a little coo-coo, so I will say that I have clumps and  jumbles of information/ideas that bounce around in my head ALL THE TIME. There are times when I become frustrated that I can’t get them out and sadly, I direct that toward people that don’t deserve it; namely Perry. Sorry, love.

There is this chaos in there that sometimes stalls me out because I want to do everything all at once for all of the projects. I will gather what I need for one project and then I start to go and get other things for the next but then just wander about in a confusion on what the next thing is going to be.  It just overloads me and I sit down and, well,  end up doing nothing. And I hate that feeling.

However, if I stop and take a look into that chaos and break it down bit by tiny bit, the whole picture becomes bearable. This takes patience and perspective. But who’s got that kind of outlook.  LOL! Patience, yeah, I got that, but perspective?  Not so much. Well, I should say big picture perspective in relation to time and effort.  In order to break it all down and begin to manage it, you need to make time for it.  Even if you feel like you don’t have time for anything else, you must make time.  Rather I must make time. I must steal away bits of time from this chore or that task.  Heck, even if it is only for 15 minutes and it is in the car when I am on my way to work, I need to make time to sort those bits and pieces to create something.  Who cares if it isn’t perfect? Well, I mean, technically I do, but if I use that as a crutch nothing will ever get done. The author, Elizabeth Gilbert, put it best when she equated working on one’s creative pursuits to having an affair.  The two married people always seem to make time or find an opportunity to get together. No matter the cost. So as she put it I am going to find “that 15 minutes to make out with each other in a stairwell.”

That’s what must be done with creative ideas.  Even if you don’t feel the inspiration, you work on your discipline every day and create.  Will it always be good?   Maybe not. Most likely not, but that’s what it takes to grow. That’s all I want to do, is to grow.  Walking around with a loving and open heart it isn’t enough for me. I learned what I could do with that, but I want to push myself more.  I don’t just want to keep pushing myself for shows, I want to create and bring the ideas I have in mind into the world.

Well, creating something out of just ideas is hard work and it is kind of magical in a sense. The word conjure means to create or imagine something according to Merriam-Webster. What’s another word for conjure? Magic. I have long wished that magic was a real thing.  I still have hope. Maybe magic is real and is just more subtle. I heard a theory in a book called Big Magic that considers the possibility that ideas might be little bits of energy. What is magic, but the bending of energy to accomplish an appropriate end result. Well, on the Merriam-Webster it says that magic is “the power to control natural forces possessed by certain people (witches and wizards) in folk tales and fiction.”
What if that “power to control” is just cooperating with that natural force, working with it to bring it into existence?

So I am going to dive into bedlam. Fully.  Total immersion.  I have 3 shows lined up next year and that may be my self imposed limit unless it is something REALLY big. However, I want to build and make, so facing the chaos is the only way to go.  Not over, not under but walk into it and begin to clean up this madness.

This brings us back to bedlam. My plan is to use this word as a mantra. Bedlam. Bedlam.  But what does this mean? Well, not exactly the literal translation. For me, bedlam will stand for Bring Each Day Love and Magic. Keep that open heart, but work your ass off to create. And create. Love the practice. Seduce inspiration. And create.

So go off, my friends, create. Make magic with inspiration. And keep doing it.

What do you want to create? Did you start working on it? How complete is your project Send me a comment!  Send it here or twitter: @theactorvist or on instagram: @theactorvista.

Until next time, dear reader, keep it up!

Have a wonderful day!

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