🎼Happy In My 2nd Life, Headset On, I Could Be Anything…🎶

Hello Gentle Reader!

Life is quick and fleeting. You blink and a season is gone. You can busy yourself to the point that a whole year has gone by faster than you feel like it should have.

But you already know this. None of this is news… right?

A lot of time at work I am clock watching, just hoping to leave my survival job to be turned loose onto the world to play with whatever idea my brain has an itching for. Sometimes the scratch feels so nice it becomes a passing hobby. Then sometimes that hobby entangles you in its web of intrigue, detail or escape. Then sometimes it can swallow you up and fuel you as you burn the candle at both ends learning, doing, becoming.

And then, when you come up for air, Dear Reader, you find that time has become a stranger to you. Well to me. Nieces and nephews sprout like corn stalks, Mom looks a little more sleepy, Hubby is a little shorter and Dad becomes a little quieter. I wonder to myself, “was I being selfish to follow this passion of mine to the floors of so many different stages? To meet literally hundreds of people? To tell stories to people that may change someone’s heart?”

How could I not see all of these changes to the people that mean the most? So I decided that I was going to actually have my cocoon year that I wrote about a bit ago…

and I was going to include the last quarter of this year as an added bonus!

A glorious 15 month hiatus is in the books for me and it begins very very soon! Already I can feel that this was the correct choice. On Sunday, it was the first night where I didn’t go to bed thinking about what my character’s childhood was like, or how he would react if the stakes were only life and death or his relationship with the donut guy who is only in one scene. I didn’t stop to think when I could find time the next day to study my script.

And I slept through the entire night.

I couldn’t believe it myself. My overactive brain, shut off like it was supposed to and I slept.

When I woke up on Monday morning, I noticed immediately that something was different. Here’s a small confession, Kind Reader, I always wake up a little grumpy. For like the first 30 minutes of the day or my shower which is one of the first things I do. My step was a little peppier. The day felt pleasant, even the sunshine was welcomed when I opened the curtains in the living room.

Some people don’t think I can stay away. And they may be right, but it won’t be to be on the stage. Maybe I will pop in to help friends learn lines or just to support the rehearsal hall one night a week. I am not expecting to fall out of the community, I am just going to refrain from committing to any shows so that I can run away for the weekend if my whims should demand me to. 🤭

In my survival job, we accrue sabbaticals over time, so I am just taking a small sabbatical from theatre while I learn some new tricks and try to do a little exploring. Strengthen my familial bonds and create more familial bonds with my dearest friends since they are already like family. I guess this is my bondage era… wait that came out wrong. 😳

Thanks so much for offering me up a little bit of your time, Gentle Reader. I appreciate you and it. I would love to hear from you about something you are looking forward to. Something I am excited about is the fall season. I think next month I will do a 30 Days of Noir and of course October is 30 Days of Horror. November could be 30 Days of Rom-Coms, but that is still up in the air.

Let me know what you have coming up that you are excited for!? Until next time, stay safe and alert and take care of yourself and those you care about.

❤️

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom In The Craft Room…

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Hello Gentle Reader!

A few posts back, I spoke about needing to get over my resistance to this new trend of video chatting, live streaming and zoom classes. Basically, everything being done in front of a camera. The place that I am the most hesitant to be. 😔

If this were a Youtube video, I would insert a clip of a husky whining, which always makes me laugh because 1. it is friggin adorable when they “talk back” and 2. they do it so well!😂

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been taking part of an acting class at A.C.T. 👍and working on my next contracted project. ❤️ I still don’t quite understand it, but I am going along for the ride.

While I haven’t had any 🔪psycho killers being spotted behind me in the calls (so far)😳, I have enjoyed being in the remote company of other people. Some that I know from past shows, as is the case with the contract project, and some that are total strangers. With that being said, I still don’t think this is a way that I want to communicate with people. I find I exert a lot of energy trying to maintain focus while tangible things are trying to pull my attention away. For example, while we are in class, I find myself staring at the titles of the books that are all over in the room. It was supposed to be a craft room/library, but that has kind of gotten sidelined as craft projects and books have exploded EVERYWHERE in the apartment. Bookshelves full of books and stacks of books and book stuck in between book shelves that aren’t flush together. Not to mention that since it is the furthest room from the wi-fi router, sometimes the signal gets a little weak and the screen becomes this robotic, slo-mo sounding remix of life. Even when the signal is great, there is a lag time so I see the actions and a second or two later comes my classmate’s line. It makes it hard to genuinely stay in the moment because in that split second between the action and line becoming audible, I notice the lag. It pulls me out of the scene and there is nothing that I dislike more than being pulled out of a scene. I am a little frustrated by it, and I can’t do anything but accept it. (It’s gonna bother me so much.)

The contract gig is cool. It has a very heavy poetry base and we aren’t really acting out any specific scenes, so it is very different than class. Also, we don’t have to use the camera if we aren’t feeling up to it. That, Dear Reader, is my favorite thing about it. LOL! It takes the pressure off of the visual, so you can focus on only one aspect and then sometimes you come up with something that you weren’t expecting. As we get closer to performing this gig, I will be sure to let you know more about it, as it will begin to take a clearer shape to me so I can explain it better.

As I try and get acclimated performing at home instead of on a stage, I am trying to control my controllables. Things like staying hydrated and humming vocal warm ups so I sound clear when I am speaking. I can’t go all out and sing the vocal warm ups since the neighbors might get cranky. I stretch and try to stay limber. I have a new fear of throwing out my back in the middle of class and being stuck on the floor or in pain while the rest of the class watches. *The Horror!!😱* I try, TRY to get some good sleep to get rid of the luggage under my peepers cuz I gots bag for days!!!! All those years of not sleeping are finally going to have their moment for all to see. Curse you, sleeplessness!!! *shakes fist at sky*

Kind Reader, how does one turn the tables on next season’s fashion line of eye-baggage? How does one erase the mocking under-eye laugh lines of insomnia? I have tried it all: cold spoons, cucumbers, eye masks, eye gels, coffee grounds, Preparation H, concealer… None of these have been warrior worthy foes to them. I am open to suggestions, however crazy they may seem.

Ok, Gentle Reader, I have ranted enough for the day. Thank you for shining so brightly and letting me once again, bend your ear. Stay safe and alert.

Until next time…

🎼I Don’t Ever Wanna, I Don’t Ever Wanna Be You… 🎶

Dear Gentle Reader,HOW ARE YOU??

I cannot believe how long it has been since my last post. It didn’t seem like that long ago. My apologies!😳

I guess I was stressing myself out over Catch Me If You Can more than I thought! Even Opening Night was unnerving.😱 I think I added to my collection of gray hairs over the last three weeks. But that isn’t what I wanted to muse about today. I will certainly be talking about CMIYC soon. Let me add it to my bullet journal… for tomorrow. DONE!✔️

On my drive to rehearsal for Funny Thing… Forum, I heard a song that recalled a conversation that I had with a former coworker which inevitably wormed its way through all the different posts/articles/reviews/conversations that I have read/heard/had with others.

The theme of those interactions basically boiled down to a kind of “I can do it better” mentality. 😮 I recall that one of my friends kind of gave me a smirk of “oh sure” or “yeah, right” when I told them in all honesty that I don’t understand that line of thinking. Yes, I do say things about an actors’/directors’ choices but NEVER with the thought that I would have done the project better. First, it is hard enough to do either of those jobs. I find encouraging is a much more enjoyable feeling. Second, if I auditioned and didn’t get the part, the director had something in mind that I didn’t fit. Secondly, if I didn’t audition, I would think it is kind of egotistical to assume that I would have done better. Maybe I wouldn’t’ve even been offered the role – which takes us back to the second reason.

I, in all sincerity, make critiques with curiosity. I want to know why a certain choice was made. I try and play out all the different versions in my head but maybe there was something I didn’t know that created the choice in question.

I welcome criticism and critiques because I want to always improve, but I don’t feel that tearing someone down is beneficial. I’ve experienced it school and hated that, so I would never want to make someone feel that way. The funny thing about school was that they thought the tearing down would solve the issue that I was quick to finish my work and help out my classmates. LOL Ah, good times, good times!

Well, Dear Reader, I must away to the theater for another performance of CMIYC.🎭What do you think of the whole “I can do it better” line of thinking? Have you caught yourself in that mode? Leave me a comment and lemme know. Don’t be shy. We’re all friends here. 👍

As always, Gentle Reader, thanks for reading.

UPDATE: Some people have asked if this was in regards to something someone said about me. Nope. I can’t help how people feel about what I do, but I hope I do it well enough so they understand what I did. It just bums me out that the most common way of thinking is that the performer didn’t do what was asked of them and that somehow the “critic” could step in and do it better.

I just want to be inspired by my fellow performers. If something is odd, I want to know why that choice was made because maybe I missed something (which is HIGHLY likely.) I don’t ever want to be the kind of person who believes I am better then anyone else because we all bring something different to the table.

*end of rant* 😏