Hello Gentle Reader,
There aren’t many instances when I wish someone was recording a night’s production performance. Especially since, as I have mentioned before, I don’t like being in front of cameras.
I would like to share 3 or 4 of my spectacular fails that turned into big laughs. I say 3 or 4 because, 2 happened in the same show, so I don’t know if that counts as a single incident. In the next few posts, I want to share them to maybe bring you a smile. 😄 Fingers crossed.
I don’t know how to rate them, because they were all belly busters and hard to not ham up. I am going to share them in order of what makes me smile the most when I think back on the incidents. So, Dear Reader, let’s start off with a smaller smile incident.
The show was Crazy For You way back in 2014. The role is Bobby Child.
Imagine if you will, Kind Reader, this super sweaty actor wearing layered costumes and we are on the second to last scene for Act 1. Prior to this point, there have been at least 4 dance numbers (K-Ra-Zy For You, I Can’t Be Bothered Now, Shall We Dance, Slap That Bass) so I am a hot mess. Dripping with salt water and makeup, I know my face is getting oily. CURSE YOU COMBINATION SKIN!!!! Oh, AND it is summertime. 🌞!!😓
Anyway! Back to the moment. If you don’t know the show: Bobby is a NY young guy that loves the theatre. Musical Theatre in particular. Typically, cast as a caucasian, so my caramel colored ass was surprised that I was offered the part, but I digress… 😵
Bobby Child works for a bank and the is going to Nevada as a representative to deal with an upcoming foreclosure. It turns out that the foreclosure is for a theatre that belongs to Polly who he falls in love with, and her father. They have a notice saying to expect Bobby, so when Bobby finally introduces himself, it goes all wrong. He then has a brilliant idea to dress up as a famous director, Bela Zangler, to put on a show, help save the theatre, and win Polly over. That brings us to the point at which “the incident” happens. The big thing to note is that Zangler has a mustache that Bobby does not…
Polly ends up crushing on faux Bela during “Slap That Bass” and pursues him during her song “Embraceable You” at the end of the scene. As she is making her advances, Bobby is trying to divert her affections from himself as Zangler to Bobby in the midst her singing. One performance, it was so hot outside that the mustache glue wouldn’t hold (ok, who am I kidding? It hardly ever held but at least I could fake it and push it back on most of the time). Polly, brilliantly played by the amazing Fiona Condon, sings out to the audience and then turns to Zangler in her saucy advances, I usually would press the mustache on while she looks away. At one point, I counter and cross her to just past the opposite side of center stage and I try pressing the fake hair back on, but it comes off in my hand! I know that the glue is officially a lost cause. ACK! I need to find a way to keep the mustache in place when she spins me around so the only thing I can think to do is to lean way back like a frug dancer from Fosse’s famous Sweet Charity number. It is obvious to everyone in the audience that the glue is lost at this point, but Fiona doesn’t let that phase her one bit! Such a pro, she is. I can hear the audience laughing as she is singing and I can’t focus on her words because all I am thinking is “Shit! Shit! Shit! It’s not gonna hold!” At the end of the number, Polly plants a big ol’ kiss on Zangler and as she pulls me to her, the mustache slips into prime position and it is a big salty gluey flavored smackaroo. Just a whole number of me trying to keep that stupid thing on in different ways, there was some face slapping at one point, but none were more ridiculous than the “hairtoss.” When I couldn’t press the darned thing back on, I had to do a head toss to try and get it to “hop” back in place. Imagine a beautiful lady singing a beautiful song beautifully juxtaposed with a panicked sweaty oaf, trying to play it cool as he tries to keep a mustache from falling off of his face while trying to keep it on the sly.
I still have that monstrosity. Somewhere.😆
Looking back on that moment in the show always makes me smile and chuckle a little. Oh, Gentle Reader, if only someone had filmed that, you would see the most glorious madness. I hope I told that story vividly enough that you get to imagine the absurdity of the moment and it makes you smile. Even if it is just a little, that is a win!
Until next time, Dear Reader, I hope you are doing well and keep safe! The next one really did need a video. I couldn’t believe it when the director told the the stage picture that we had… 😜