Posts Tagged ‘frustrations’


Hello Dear Reader,

Well, February has come and gone and I am not anywhere near finishing my writing project. The power of frustration is palpable.  I was stewing in it. I feel all tender and a little sad. SO, I am just going to extend the time for this project.

Here’s the thing though.

I was putting way to much pressure on myself to complete this ASAP. What I have learned is when you’re creating something pressure like this is such a bad move. It isn’t helpful, Gentle Reader, and not conducive to the act of creating. If anything, it stifles creativity, I feel.

This will get done when it gets done. I mean, I do have the whole year off, after all.

Yesterday, as I was at my #survivaljob watching the rain fall, slamming onto the tiles that lead to the main lobby, I realized I haven’t been my normal self these last few years.

You know, Dear Reader, as an actor, I have to use every sense that is available to me as well as imagination and memories.  I watch people all the time.  Almost like I am studying them. I have memories, but I am certain that I don’t have enough memories. So I would create them my playing.  Not games, but playing with life.

But I stopped playing.  I stopped jumping in puddles and walking in the rain. I focused on going home and trying to be responsible so that I could get to that survival job day in and day out rather than going out and enjoying my friends. I stopped “going all in” at life. I put in just enough to get by.

But with this realization that what I am trying create isn’t meant to be done in the 5 weeks that I planned means that I can breathe.


And to jump in puddles.

And see my friends and their shows.

So, Sweet Reader, I AM going to continue to work on this show but I am not going to place that kind of pressure on it. I apologize that I don’t feel like any of the pages are worth sharing yet, but I will keep working on it.

Until then *inhale* more playing!

Dear Reader, have you ever had a realization that had kept you from enjoying your time? How did you break through that haze?  Leave me a comment or follow me on the social medias! Also, just pop in and say ‘Hi!’                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Vero: Jery Theactorvist

Until next time…

The Future Is What You MakeHello Dear Reader!

As I write this, I have another tab open of my other writing project that I keep finding myself rewriting over and over. It is eternally frustrating.😞

I do believe that I have mentioned this project in passing but here it is.  I am trying to write a show based on a wonderful book that I read a few years ago. I hesitate to name the book because I haven’t got permission yet. The author lives in Oakland, so I think I may be able to send the script once it is done.  I think the phrase that comes to mind is: It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.  One of the main reasons that I loved the book so much was because it honors strong women.  The main character is a woman embarking on a new life and it has a great cast of strong women and a small handful of supporting men. 👍 The beauty with which these places and scenes is described is so poetic and clear that I can easily see this on a stage.👀

My problem, Gentle Reader, is that I can’t seem to create dialogue that fills in some of the spaces of back story in a clear concise way so I can move on with the main story, as the book is in three parts that interweave past and present.😥

I know, I should just write it and set it aside and come back to it later for editing. I should do that. But since this type of writing isn’t quite my discipline I am having on hell of a time “letting go.”

My aim was to have a rough draft completed by the end of the month, which was part of the reason that I haven’t posted since the beginning of the year. I am, sadly, only about 20-odd pages in and believe that this script could easily hit over 100. The book itself is about 300 pages and there is a lot of story that I need to leave out. Unless I can easily tie it all in quickly which is where I am at now. Not to mention, I have rewritten the second scene four times and am still not happy with it. 

Now that I am sitting here and thinking this out with all of you, I think I may have to change up my tactic and try writing this scene by scene and out of order. Just for now until I get through the story then put it all together. Doing it this way, I may still hit my goal of having a rough draft completed!

Oh, Dear Reader!  Thank you.  😜That was incredibly helpful.  If I get some more progress done, I may possibly post a page for your perusal as thanks.

Well, with this newfound inspiration, I am back to my untitled project!😌

Until next time…

Tickets are available NOW!!!

Click on the picture to get your tickets!

As I pulled open the door to the Mexican Heritage Theatre’s cast entrance, I could tell that the mood inside was not only playful, but incredibly positive.  I know you are probably thinking “Well, duh!”

So let me backtrack, Tuesday at work was just a funky, junky day, to be brief.  So when I got to the theatre after work, I wasn’t in the right head space to feel or “see” that there was some weird energy going on around me.  I carried with me all the frustrations and problems of the day as got my costumes on and props prepared for the run of the show.  This would be our first true run thru of the show with the lights, and sound and set changes all happening.  Because of this important point in the rehearsal process, I had an even harder time finding that calm one usually needs to find the character that you are about to bring to life. So I was still in my own little world even after I stepped onto the stage for the first time.  This is always bad.  Always.  As I walked off stage, I FINALLY began to get into the swing of things.   But the mood felt odd.  Still.  I thought it was something that I had brought with me, but as the night wore on, I realized that there was something more going on here. I couldn’t put my finger on it, though. As we get to the intermission break, I begin to hear grumblings in the dressing room and BOOM!!!  Now I know that we are officially in the dreaded Hell Week.  Sarcastic Hooray inserted here.  For those of you unfamiliar with the term, we loving refer to the week before Opening Night as Hell Week.  This is the week where everyone is needed for what seems like forever, as we stand around for lighting cue set ups, and the stop and starts of scenes to test set changes, costume changes that may or may not work due to how fast some of them are, and organizing where you need to have your props set for minimum travel time.  While this whole rehearsal process has had it’s ups, it’s also had a few things that have become a habit.  Those habits were the foundation of the anxious energy that was in the building.  Add the stress from the past weekends events, and the new challenges of the run, and you have people who were seriously on edge, and by Act 2 Scene 8, things had reached the point where people were getting angry.  So after the run, the group had a pow-wow and a whole lot of frustration was let out!  Luckily the people who voiced their frustrations used well thought out criticisms and made valid points. So as I left the rehearsal that night and drove home, I wondered what the ramifications of the event were going to be on the next few nights.

Before today’s run thru of the show, we all took a moment to get on the same energy and wave length.  And even though I was late (What? I have to work.) and made it into costume 15 before places, I was able to share and focus my energy and dedication to the cast and production.  So when we hit the stage, there was a few minor hiccups, but things sailed and we made it with a show of 2 hours running time.  I did break my bottle of booze, so the props manager had to make a snap choice and gave me a plain old cork to use.  Minor crisis averted! Personally, I screwed up two of my lines.  One of them, I am supposed to say “Puro vaquero” and it came out more like Puro Cabrone, I don’t even know what that means.  The other line I missed was more like I jumped on top of my cast mate’s line.

Everyone who participates in this process is important.  Allowing them to the chance to talk openly and constructively made for a positive change, while bringing up those issues that need to be handled.  Even more important, as long as the words they use aren’t voiced as personal attacks, the lines of communication stay open and fixes for those issues begin. Just like any other problem.

So even though the last two nights have produced two different performances, I am totally confident that we’ve got a show kids!  Woo hoo! Get your tix now, guys. Click on the picture above to order your tickets and there’s an early bird special.  If you get them ahead of time and not wait til your at the door, you can save a  couple of bucks. Maybe donate it to a good cause.  Like Teatro!