Hello Dear Reader,
Well, February has come and gone and I am not anywhere near finishing my writing project. The power of frustration is palpable. I was stewing in it. I feel all tender and a little sad. SO, I am just going to extend the time for this project.
Here’s the thing though.
I was putting way to much pressure on myself to complete this ASAP. What I have learned is when you’re creating something pressure like this is such a bad move. It isn’t helpful, Gentle Reader, and not conducive to the act of creating. If anything, it stifles creativity, I feel.
This will get done when it gets done. I mean, I do have the whole year off, after all.
Yesterday, as I was at my #survivaljob watching the rain fall, slamming onto the tiles that lead to the main lobby, I realized I haven’t been my normal self these last few years.
You know, Dear Reader, as an actor, I have to use every sense that is available to me as well as imagination and memories. I watch people all the time. Almost like I am studying them. I have memories, but I am certain that I don’t have enough memories. So I would create them my playing. Not games, but playing with life.
But I stopped playing. I stopped jumping in puddles and walking in the rain. I focused on going home and trying to be responsible so that I could get to that survival job day in and day out rather than going out and enjoying my friends. I stopped “going all in” at life. I put in just enough to get by.
But with this realization that what I am trying create isn’t meant to be done in the 5 weeks that I planned means that I can breathe.
And to jump in puddles.
And see my friends and their shows.
So, Sweet Reader, I AM going to continue to work on this show but I am not going to place that kind of pressure on it. I apologize that I don’t feel like any of the pages are worth sharing yet, but I will keep working on it.
Until then *inhale* more playing!
Dear Reader, have you ever had a realization that had kept you from enjoying your time? How did you break through that haze? Leave me a comment or follow me on the social medias! Also, just pop in and say ‘Hi!’
Until next time…