Surviving is the hardest part of living…

In our broken economy, sometimes the necessities become the hardest things to obtain.  A week ago, musician from the bands MEN and La Tigre wrote a column for the Huffington Post titled, I love my job, but it made me poorer.

Click the link to read the article.  It’s a great read, but as an Artist I found it to be eye opening, unsettling, and disheartening.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I was sent an event request that was asking for Art donations to present a benefit.  The benefit is to raise money for an Artist’s funeral.  The Artist, David Lastra, was one of the first people to help build the cool Empire Seven Studios on 7th Street in San Jose.  The benefit will be held at the Studios on Saturday, October 15.  Stop by and pick up some great Art for a great cause.

With these things in my consciousness, I am grateful for the job that I do have currently, even if it is well outside my comfort zone.  I appreciate the flexibility that it offers and the support that the company has for the Arts.  But my heart is completely in the Arts.

I have this grand wish to be able to support myself somehow by working in the field that I adore, but I worry so much that following a dream is more of a luxury rather than an option.  It seems that as the classes divide, only those with the money will be afforded the option of dreaming.

As sad as it may seem though, I have always felt that money was an important part of it.  I can’t tell you how many emails I’ve sent out to dance studios and acting companies to find out if they have any sort of scholarship opportunities for people in the same boat as me.  The only company that responded with any sort of information was Zohar Dance Studio, for which I will FOREVER be thankful.

But, seriously, how does one pursue their passion if they don’t have the means? I had even sent an email to a columnist at Backstage magazine and got absolutely no response.  Not many places want to talk about money.  I understand that show business is exactly that, a business, but what do we do when talented people are to broke to carry on and all we have left are the rich pretty people that are more like puppets than Artists?

I appreciate what the “Occupy” protests are doing, because it’s an attempt to level the playing field.  I would love to join them, but I have to work to be able to keep a roof over my head.

How are you handling this insane time in the economy?  Are you finding it difficult to chase your dreams?  Leave me a comment at the bottom of the screen. Tell me how you feel, dialogue is a good thing.

Day of Reflection: Day Four


I just realized that rehearsals for “Bless Me, Ultima” don’t begin until the beginning of February.  Boo.  The other day, I got an email saying that I’ll be playing other roles as well, and one of them is a dancer!  I can’t recall seeing any mention of musical-ness in the script so I am intrigued by that.  I guess I have to begin my character work for those other bits as well, since there’s lines that are attached to them.  That’s a pretty cool silver lining.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Jeez, there’s a ton of things that cross my mind all the time.  This one should have been worded, seven things that cause you stress or high blood pressure.  I would imagine they are very similar to most people in the country, and maybe even the world.  Let me know if I am close…

7.  Will I be able to pay all my bills this month?

6.  If not, will I need to begin the job search process all over again?

5.  Can I go back to school, and still do the shows I want, AND work?

4.  What song should I use for auditions?

3.  I think I am gonna have Alzheimer’s.

2.  I need medical benefits.

1.  When will I win the lotto?


Those are my 7 things.  Yeah, they are pretty specific, but that is what I actually think about when I am not fully engaged in a moment.  There’s plenty more where that came from, but those seem to have a recurring role.   Do they match any of your 7 things?  Let me know, maybe we can figure out a way to cure that thought.


Yay, Mood!

There aren’t many pictures of me from either time I went to New York and I do regret that a lot.  Especially since I know that it will be a while before I am able to return.  I was so excited that I went to Mood.  I even bought a good hunk of fabric there that I have yet to do anything with.  That golden painted corridor with it’s yellow lights did nothing for my oily skin!  I remember being a little warm in that store, but refusing to take off the jacket so I didn’t have to carry it.  Wow, I guess I am still pretty stubborn.