🎼Anxiety Is High, But I’m Holding On…🎶

Hello Gentle Reader!

Forgive my absence for the last two and a half weeks. A few things were being focused on so I didn’t have a chance to think about writing. 😳 At first, it was just the final weeks of rehearsals for the Dragon Theatre project I had mentioned. Then, I found out that my survival job wasn’t going to be available until next year so my team got the official furlough. This had me scrambling for insurance purposes since my hubs has been going through treatments. Lastly, his birthday was at the end of the month, so I had to make sure I had that ready, too. So, I haven’t been lazing around as you can see. 😓 Couple all of this with the new COVID news of the last few weeks and surely you can understand how anxiety would be running rampant in my home. Sorry to have butchered Blondie’s awesome song… 😱

In the last few posts, I had mentioned that I wasn’t sure what the poetry project was going to end up becoming because I couldn’t “see” the end result. Well, Dear Reader, I can say that for something that seemed to be a little chaotic, it turned out really, really well. The end result of our epic poem is a tribute to Allen Ginsberg’s HOWL and was quite resonant with the audience that has attended so far as well as for myself. We worked for several weeks building our collaborative muscles and created an eight and a half minute piece that is the highlight of the show.

The way the film ended up being edited together was masterful and lends a bigger impact to the overall message of the poem itself. Our process was something I didn’t realize how much I needed to keep myself sane and composed, but being in the “audience” to see Filip Hoffman’s visual edit with Nathanael Card’s editing of the poetry itself created a crest in the wave that allowed the emotion to break and let me have a decent cry in the presence of a shared experience that is theatre. In the Q and A that followed, the moderator messaged me to see if I wanted to add anything to the conversation, but I was barely holding it together enough to not be a snotty red eyed mess. On Zoom, no less. Good Times! 😂😂

While it isn’t the immersive theatre experience that I wanted when originally cast in AJ’s Annual Party, this version was just as rewarding. I still have my fingers crossed that at some point, AJ’s Annual Party will be done on a stage. The idea of vignettes done in the guise of a party that fills the entire room where the audience is part of the party and setting sounds like a blast. While this may not have been that same experience, being a part of this piece of devised theater will be in my memory forever. I have been moved by the words and emotions of my cast mates while we worked through the weeks where some weeks were tougher than others and tech issues but we have a beautiful piece that I am very proud of.

We have two more performances of AJ’s Virtual Party coming up on Friday and Saturday 8/7 & 8/2020 at 7pm on Zoom! Get the details and tickets at Dragon Productions Theatre Company.

My Gentle Reader, I have bent your ear enough, but I hope you are keeping safe and alert. I would also like to invite you to the “Party.” If I don’t see you there, I will at least be in touch next week.

Stay adorable, Dear Reader.

Poetry Corner…

Wizards and Warriors

I can create something out of nothing.
I can fight through tears and fears
I use my five senses and my will
I cry WAR every time anxiety appears.

Always opposing, war and creation
Burden my warrior’s heart
But to honor my wizard’s hat
This is why we create Art

To be strong enough to face the trials
Yet wise enough to make the right choices
To be clever enough to see the true world
And tough enough to rise and use our voices.
(work in progress…)

In The Pursuit of Happiness…

Hello Dear Reader,

Every year at this time, I think of a fellow I did a show with many years ago. I think I may have mentioned Cesar Flores before. His Vietnam stories always made me so sad because I could see the hurt in his face and hear it in his voice. He spoke with such passion about everything. I really loved that about him. I know he is somewhere in California, but I don’t know where anymore.

I thank him and all the soldiers this Memorial Day for all the sacrifice that they have made so that America can have the freedoms that have become a way of life. Freedoms that seem to be used to protest for justice and tear us apart for elitism and racism. Just because I don’t agree with some of the propaganda that is going around doesn’t mean it is isn’t an expression, as much as I am loathe to point out.

According to our Declaration of Independence, we all have the right to pursue happiness. What happens when that happiness is in jeopardy? I have been paying much more attention to the empty seats, content, quality and types of advertising in the theaters I have been attending as of late. The worry of being a company owner is making sure that you can sustain great shows that bring in a full audience to keep on putting up more great shows and round and round the circle goes.

Can I just say, I don’t understand that when money gets tight the first thing that seems to be cut is live theater. I mean, I sort of get it. Tickets are expensive and if you know a lot of people in different shows it can get REALLY pricey. Yet, there is so much intrinsic value in it for a well rounded life. These creative expressions offer us a chance as a society to step back and look at ourselves. Sometimes theatre points the finger and sometimes it doesn’t. Since I want to open my own company in the future, this has really made me shift my thoughts on what the state of theatre in this area will be like in a few months.

My Gentle Reader, I don’t have any worries of the the talent on either side of the table. And when I say “either side of the table,” for those that don’t know, I am referring to the cast/talent and staff/production. We have some great people that are on both sides. I worry about the people that we do this for. While it may be fun and a necessity (sometimes) for us, theatre is a mirror of sorts to life. Even if the attendees aren’t going through the particular situation that is on stage, we can still relate to it on an emotional level. You may not agree with some of the things that the play is about, but the hope is that it makes you willing to think about the subject and maybe it will change your heart or strengthen your resolve but hopefully it will make you feel and/or think.

I’ve looked into strategies (and that ain’t even my strong suit! Ask anyone who has played board games with me) in marketing and awareness and community involvement. I see opportunities there, but getting those seats sold is where I feel a bit lost. What if those strategies are great but the seats don’t sell?

Do any of you amazing friends have any thoughts on the state of theatre in the future? What have you seen in regards to attendance? Do you see any way to shrink the number of empty seats?

Dear Reader, I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend and that you took a moment to reflect on the things that allow us to try to attain the American Dream that our grandparents had before things got so crazy expensive.

And Cesar, where ever you are and whatever show you are working on now, my friend, I salute you and say “Welcome Home!”

Until next time, Gentle Reader…

It Is Finished…

Cast and Crew of SUPERSTAR being goofy! Photo by Edmond Kwong

I have been pussyfooting around the acknowledgement that this show that I have lived with for the last 13.5 months has finally come to an end. On my last two days off of work I was expecting to get hit with a blast of depression that comes with ending a show. One of this magnitude, I was sure would take me out of the game for a while. But it never came.

When we started this show, I said I see this show as a fight for love. Instead of the show being a simple Judas wronged Jesus, it was accidental. There was no one to “blame.” Everything was supposed to happen. Like Jesus sings, “You’re far too keen on where and how but not so hot on why.” I wanted a positive spin on the show. I also wanted Jesus to be as human as everyone else. My hope was that people would be moved to see a fellow human being treated so horribly during act 2. To see that he was afraid and sad but still willing to go through this for his love of the people. I had the white out at the end to ask the audience to look inside and find your love for your fellow man and for hope that this world can be a better place in doing so.

Then I was lucky enough to get this amazing, supportive cast! But my luck didn’t run out there. One of the very first things I fought for was an amazing sound department which was an incredible 3 man team. So John, Dan, and Brett: Thank you for an outstanding job with this difficult show! The crew was small but mighty and headed by an amazing Stage Manager, Ms. Pye! I am grateful to the amazing producers Nancy and Liz, who worked so tirelessly to ensure that the vocal director, Judy, and music director, Jean, and I had everything we needed.

I have realized that there is a reason for the non-depression. As I disassemble the Blooming Wall, I have the chance to read all the beautiful paper “flowers” with things that people love. Simple things. And I understand that we did exactly what we set out to do. We did share the love.

And so did they. With that in mind, what is there to be depressed about?

To ALL of you, I cannot say thank you enough.

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When You Get To Hear It For The First Time…

As I spent the last few days worrying over JCS, that little voice in the back of my head began to whisper to me. Just ever so slightly. Kind of like seeing something out of the corner of your eye.

After a week of rehearsals, the cast got to sing through all ov Act 1 witb minimal stopping. To get them into the spirit of the night, we kicked off rehearsal with some vocal warm ups. After a couple of standards, we threw in something goofy just for kicks. Once they fully comitted to the exercise, I threw emotions at them as they sang “do you want fries with that?” I wanted them to build from a “it’s a great day” to “if you don’t get out of my face i will kill you!” It was fun to see them take this group exercise and make it into mini scenes. Some were more believable than others and when I came across those, I would say that I don’t believe it and I could see the shift in their intensity. It was a lot of fun. I hope they enjoyed the experience.

From there, the cast did a mini sit and sing of Act 1. It went really well and totally made my night to see the cast react to hearing the leads for the first time. It was great to see them really get into it with everyone being in the same room and enjoying the music.

After a small break, we cleared the chairs and told the cast the move around the room in the spirit of a character. It was like watching a show in itself.

To watch the characters begin to take shape, to see the reactions of the rest of the cast, and to know that we are on the up slopes of this process made for an incredible night!
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Cut to 3 weeks later…

We’ve managed to get all but 6 or 7 numbers staged and begin stumbling thru acts this week. Every day I am excited to see what is in store and what is inside these actors. Every day I am grateful that they work so hard. I feel so unbelievably lucky that this particular group of people accepted parts in this show.

I hope that they are still enjoying themselves, even inspite of my frantically worded explanations. As I watch them laugh and chat, I know they are enjoying each others’ friendships. That gives me hope. Hahahaha!!

In all honesty, this incredible group of actors and I cannot wait to share this show with y’all!!!

Opening Night on a Friday the 13????

This is gonna be scary/fun/exciting/anxiety-filling!!!! Yes, all of those things rolled into one big night.

IT OPENS TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are a multitude of emotions that are zipping through my head right now and ever since I opened my eyes this morning.

I am excited because we get to see what the show is like with people watching and seeing if everything we’ve done works like we are thinking it will.

I am nervous about making sure I’ve got all my cues and props right. And all the stairs.

I am happy because, in totality, these cast mates of mine and the show staff are a tremendous group of people. Their onstage ethic is a joy to be around and their off stage personalities and kindnesses have made this process relatively stress-free. Relatively because I stress myself out. But I COULD NOT have asked for a better group of people to be on this journey with.

I am anxious because we all know there’s gonna be judgments. Ben Vereen was a master at this role and he did a magically amazing job. I am not Ben, so my interpretation is different, but I know there will be those people… Hell, I am sometimes one. Sigh… There’s nothing I can do about it, so I shall say, let the judging commence. It does help the our music director worked some magic of his own on the show. You will have to see it to find out what I mean.

I am grateful to the staff for believing that I can pull this off.

I have been asked to explain this show to TONS of people. It is such a hard thing to do. But here’s my take on it.

Pippin is trying to find the ONE thing that will be completely fulfilling. We all know there is no such thing. We have to put our best into every opportunity we are given which is what the Leading Player provides. The only thing you can really find fulfilling is looking back on your accomplishments in your twilight years knowing that you were a good person who helped people and set a good example. In our current age of “Gimme Instant Fame” we forget this. Does he learn his lesson? You will have to come and see. Get your tickets here: Sunnyvale Players I think the majority of the Goldstar tickets are sold. There may be one or two for later in the run.

Because there is SO much to do today, I have to keep this short.

I honestly hope that you do come out and support local theatre. See a show, even if it isn’t ours. Support those people on stages that put their hearts and souls into something that affects people. You are supporting the oldest form of entertainment, storytelling. Keep this in mind whichever performance you see this weekend. And now, I shall be off. After all…