Looking back through ’11 (Part 2)


As I stated in Part 1, once we reach this point of the year, we tend to review the things we did during the year.  Some people look back to see if they’ve accomplished any of the goals that they’ve set for themselves.  Some look back in regret.  Some people look back to learn from mistakes.  Some, like me, do a combination of them.

I am not big on self-promotion.  Call me shy.  So I’ve never looked for accomplishments.  I often review with a combination of regret and what did I learn.  Of course, though, you already know this.


April was a fabulous month!  The main reason was because this was the month that we got to see Xanadu at The Retro Dome starring Adam Berry.  It was such a wonderful campy and fun show that I loved every moment of it.  I laughed until I was teary eyed.  It was just so good!  My only regret is that I didn’t see it more than once!  It totally would have been worth it.


May was a huge month! Somewhere in the end of 2007, I was watching “New, Now, Next” on Logo television. It was sort of like Mtv, but played most queer or queer-friendly artists.  At the end of one episode, there came this song on and it made me want to dance.  It was super catchy, and this cute little blonde girl was struttin’ her stuff.  I was totally diggin’ it!  In her, I saw a young Madonna and fell in love with her, just as I did Madonna.  Of course, this young girl who was telling me to “Just Dance” was Lady Gaga.  I’ve been a huge fan of hers and love the gumption this girl has to make it.


Well, in May her long awaited 3rd album was released, and I had to get my hands on it. From the day I got it until about a week ago, I have had it living in my car’s cd player non-stop.  I just find the poetry of the words magnetic.  Music is deeply personal to everyone so some songs or music don’t mean the same things.  This whole disc is something that I connect to in a way that I haven’t latched on to in a very, very long time.  I’m considering writing a series of posts about the individual songs and why they speak so loudly to me.

But Gaga wasn’t the only thing happening this month, I took a ride up to Pacifica because my buddy Sam Valenzuela was working on a play that dealt with immigration and the things people do to try and live a better life.  The play was called The Boxcar.  It was a gripping account of a group of men that hitched a ride on a freight train to get into the US to work.  This sadly was based on true events and all the men but one died on that train.  If you ever get the chance to see it, please do.

The movie Bridesmaids stormed into theaters and killed at the box office.  It is destined to become one of those favorites in a culty sort of way.  It had an amazing cast that just played the parts to perfection.  I regret that I don’t have that movie in my collection. Yet!

This was the first time that I caught a glimpse of the upcoming show SMASH and have been dying of anticipation for this show to start.  I can’t believe that it’s only a few weeks away!!!  Yippee!

Sadly, the amazing Arthur Laurents passed away in May as well.  He was a youthful 93.  He will be missed.  The theatre world really lost a treasure.


June was a surprise month for movies.  I saw Super 8 and LOVED it.  I wanted to love Green Lantern, because that is one of my favorite superheroes, but it wasn’t great.  It was enjoyable, but not that WOW! that I was hoping it would be.  I was a little devastated.  I’m not gonna lie.

Anthony Wiener caves in and resigns after sending phone pics of his junk to some girl.  The republicans were all huffy about it, but yet when one of their people gets caught hiring male escorts it’s not a big deal.  Ugh, it was disgusting and I say do away with the lot of politicians and have regular people serve as the governing body of the nation for a year.  Politicians are just making matters worse.

And I picked up my little novel again to re-read and strengthen the story and character building and the like.  I still have yet to let people read it though.  I regret not being on top of that better.  Poor time management on my part.  I’ll totally cop to that.

So how did you do on the second quarter of the year?  I hope you’ve all accomplished what you set out to do. Things seem to be getting crazier as the year progressed.  Do you agree?  Leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts.

Did I grow up or just grow old?

I remember that there was a time not that long ago, that I could do a crapload of stuff in a day and still have energy to do anything else but sleep. My motto used to be “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

Today, I was watching “Bridesmaids” with my munster Perry and my Bestie Notblue, and I felt a kind of sadness fall over me.  We met up after I got off of working at the nursery, and I was so excited because it’s been a while since we’ve seen a movie together due to conflicting schedules, being tired, or having other plans and what not.  Yeah, I was a little tired, but it didn’t matter much.

The movie, which is freaking hilarious, made me think back to childhood friends.  People that I had long since grown apart from. I felt that little tinge of sadness because I have no one to remember when we did this stupid thing or that crazy thing as kids.  I have a lot of friends, a ton of acquaintances, and a handful of BFF’s that I cherish, but none of them have that connection of kiddie memories.

You may wonder what happened to those people that I grew up with.  The truth of it is, I don’t know.  We moved on to our various lives, and when we would meet up, it was more like “do you remember when?” but not really creating any new memories to share.  I don’t know if it’s wrong, but I feel like friendships should be like that trusty old car that will always move you forward, even if it doesn’t look the greatest.  You can always look into the rearview mirror, but you have to keep driving on.  So, I just let them drift apart.  We’ve grown to be so different that it was as though we were different people through and through.

One of the themes in the movie is regarding growing up, maturing, becoming an adult, or whatever you want to call it.  Kristen Wiig, who is Maya Rudolph’s maid of honor and childhood friend, takes on Rose Byrne, the rich girl and new friend of the bride to be.  They argue about whether people change.  It was that argument that initially made me wonder about my lacking of childhood friends.  But then I began to think a little more about whether I grew up or just grew old and changed much in the process of doing so.   I know it’s a bit of murky thing to ask, but I feel like there is a difference between the two.

As I stated before, I could do a ton of things and have plenty of time left over to do more.  I was also the weirdly dressed kid at school.  I would take my dad’s old jackets that he never used anymore and tear out the lining.  That is of course if it was a colorful or fancy fabric.  Then I would re-sew the raggedy edges and remove the sleeves and wear them as vests.  Sometimes I would add buttons if the mood struck me, but most of the time I just left it as is.  I stitched emerald green sequins on my black backpack that read DTBD.  Everyone asked me what it meant, but I would only tell my friends.  It stood for Dare To Be Different.  They too began to write it on their books and binders.

At my current age, would I recreate something like that and wear it out without batting an eye.  Hell’s yeah.

However, I feel like I just don’t have the energy to put into making it.  I’ve been feeling the desire to get out more and accomplish things sort of dwindle, and I let it happen.  I have become content with staying in and pattering about the old homestead.  But I have to admit, I do it with a touch of resentment in my soul. Just a touch.

So therein lies the question: Does that mean I’ve grown up or just grown old?

In the movie, the adorable Melissa McCarthy confronts Wiig to face her self afflicted pity party and fight for something good for herself.  I can’t say what it was about that moment that made me look over to the seat on my left, but I heard something and I can’t describe what it was.

I am a big believer in “signs” so I am going to take that moment as a “sign.”

I guess there is my answer!!  I did not grow up and I did not grow old.  I grew complacent and I don’t think that’s enough for me.

I am ready to begin again.

Thank you for helping me talk, errr…write out this problem.

Do you believe in signs?  What’s been your experience?  I would love to hear about it.

Thanks for reading!