But Are They Paying You?…

The Love Of Money

HI Gentle Reader!

Can you believe this is the first post of 2016? Would you believe it if I told you I am working on completing 4 different shows in the next 5 months? It’s true. I will get to some of that in a second.

Going back to the question at hand… are they paying you?

I have had a number of people ask me this question in regards to my next project. My current project is just a little dance number in “She Loves Me” at Foothill Musical Theatre, which is playing its last weekend beginning Thursday. The next project in the works requires that I commute to Hollister which is about an hour outside of the San Jose area, if the traffic is not too bad. I don’t mind the drive at all. I enjoy any car ride as long as I have something to shamelessly sing to/with. Currently, it is a toss up between Hamilton and Something Rotten.

While I do need to take some time away from the survival jobs to make it to rehearsals on time and pay for plenty of fuel, it isn’t an unreasonable question to ask. When I tell them the answer is no, I am given the “oh damn!” look. You know the one. It looks kind of like a combination of smelling something bad and sucking on a lemon.

I am glad my friends are looking out for me, but I do have my reasons on this project.

I call this a “gotta do it” project. Think of it like facing your fear. My next project is with the San Benito Stage Company’s Sidecar production. It is a cabaret style show in a quaint little bar in a building called The Vault. The show itself is called “The Subject is Love.”

I have always loved to sing, dance, and act. My preferences of the three disciplines are in the exact opposite order than what I just listed them. For some reason that I didn’t understand, I would always get in the most trouble for singing.

Both my parents were big popular music lovers. So of course, I grew up listening and loving the radio’s top 40. Once I was introduced to musicals (Thanks, Tawni!), my interest in the regular music that the rest of the people around me listened to waned. I began to collect as many cast recordings as I could get my hands on via the local libraries. I loved to sing along with these magnificent songs that held so much story and emotion. I didn’t just sing though, I belted out these songs. I was constantly told by my family to shut up. I was a terrible singer. I could never do something like that (be in a musical).

This negativity was around me every day for years, because I couldn’t help it that I loved these songs so much. Subconsciously, it made me believe that I couldn’t sing and that I would never get to be a part of something so incredible. Now I could be bitter at this mental block I have been given by my family, but I realized, oddly from watching America’s Funniest Videos*, that it wasn’t because I was bad at it. It was because I was maybe a tad loud, but mostly because it wasn’t the style of music that my family was used to. Since they weren’t, they believed it was terrible music and wouldn’t stop to really listen to it.

To this day, I have this anxiety of singing in front of others, especially at auditions. It is one thing to be in a role and embodying a character as one sings, but it is a whole different show when it is just you as yourself singing a song for a group of strangers. ‘But there’s the whole karaoke thing, you can’t forget that!’ one dear reader exclaims. I reply, “Yes, but there’s the whole alcohol thing , you can’t forget about that.” I think somewhere in the back of my mind there is that cluster of voices from long ago echoing those negative phrases still. For those that have known me a long time, they could mention Smokey Joe’s Cafe, but even then our director created a story arc for the show which gave way to creating characters.

Yet, I have this crazy idea that I would love to perform a solo cabaret show sprinkled with a couple of friends and with this mental block I don’t see how I can make that a reality. I have had the opening number all staged for the last 5 years. Maybe it is 6. By facing down this insecurity of mine, maybe I will finally scale this seemingly insurmountable wall that I put up when it comes to singing and get my ass in gear to complete this goal. And who knows, maybe my other auditions will level up! Let’s keep our collective fingers crossed. Until then, I shall continue to sing with whichever great cast recordings I have on the road with me.

Do you have any favorite songs that you like to sing along to when you are driving down the road? If you were only allowed to belt out one really good number, what would you choose? Let me know! Maybe we can post videos of us doing just that.

Take care, Gentle Reader.

*I tried to find the video but finally gave up. In it, there is a young boy singing a show tune. I can’t remember if it is from Cats or Annie but his older sister is screaming for him to be quiet. The boy was actually on pitch and singing pretty well. So the video brought back a lot of memories.

Joy and Payne…

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Dear gentle reader,

It has been 10 days since the final curtain was brought down on Guys and Dolls.

I have been struggling with a way to reflect on my experience with the Jewel Theatre Company. As of late, being able to sit down to write has been a bit difficult as time does not always allow for such simple requests. However, when I got a little Facebook notice that it was a particular person’s birthday and that same day I opened my mailbox to find a card from that very same person, then the stars are saying I have to do it now!

This is gonna be a bit nuts, but bear with me, k? This post is gonna be wonky…

The Thursday night of our closing weekend, I had a dream. At the time it made no sense, but once I started organizing my thoughts for this post, the lightbulb finally went on.

The Dream: I woke up in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep. I pulled up my Facebook account and immediately I get an IM from the one and only Lee Ann Payne, the choreographer for Guys and Dolls. The curious thing was that the message was a video message. She was so excited because she was the proud owner of a violin. Not only that but she can actually play something on it. She says, I am going to send you a video! Then she is gone. I get a link for a video that is titled “I Just Want It To Quack.” I hit play, and sure enough there is Ms. Payne playing her violin and literally making it quack. Like a duck. The video consists of many jump cuts as she joyfully plays her mallard fiddle and everything is lit with purple lights. (Think 80’s dance video if the description isn’t working for you.) This goes on for a brief chunk of time. Even though it is just quacks, I get a complete story; beginning, middle, and end. Then the dream is over. So random! So nonsensical, but very very joyful.

I recall waking up and being full of smiles because it was such a kooky dream. Not only that, it had one of my favorite theatre people of all time in it!

I am sure that I have mentioned this a million times, but it is because of Ms. Payne that I was lucky enough to be a part of the G&D family.

This past year, I have been focused on trying to work with as many new theatre companies as possible and I can say happily that I got to work with 3 plus an independent production team that put on a world premiere opera. Along with new theatre companies, I have harbored the secret wish of actually learning to play the violin which is my favorite instrument.

So now this is how the dream begins to morph into meaning for me. A brilliant choreographer has in her hands something that I want, but don’t own and yet is familiar because of my love for the object which I interpretation as that she hands me a wonderful opportunity doing something I love with with something new (people and places)!

The jump cuts seem to resemble how those 9 weeks of my life were. Flashes of the things I needed to do at the time; work at job 1, go to rehearsal, work job 2, work job 1, go to rehearsal, etc…

I know that purple is the color of royalty, but I also associate it with magic. There is nothing more magical to me than theatre and books. Both take you on journeys that others have imagined, and to be lucky enough to be able to bring those characters to life? Fuhgetaboutit!

The quacking I don’t quite get, I will admit. I’d like to believe that it is for the phrase “lucky duck.” I always consider getting gigs like this to be sheer luck. As I seem to have mentioned above… It could even mean something like “like a duck to water,” because from that very first rehearsal, everyone was friendly and helpful and it was just fun to be around them. So yeah, maybe it does stand for lucky duck.

As this was a whole new group of people that I was going to work with, I was much quieter during this process than my usual self. I had never worked with Linda Piccone, our sassy and funny, but unknown to me, director. I couldn’t tell at first a lot of the time if she was joking or not because she has a really good poker face. Once we moved into the theatre, I finally realized that she was joking the whole time. LOL!

Taking the image of a happy lady playing a violin that literally sounds like a duck quacking automatically puts a laugh in my heart and a smile on my soul. That, dear reader, is what the cast of G&D for Jewel Theatre did for me. Through all the hard work, there were so many laughs. So many times that I had tears in my eyes from all the funny that was happening.

If I were to name all the good things about the show, I could easily write a post this size for every day for the rest of the year and still not touch all of them. So I will tell you every bad thing… you ready?

Nothing
There was not a single thing that I would ask to change or do different. Does that mean I never had a mistake during the show? Oh, I did. Plenty. Someone accidentally made me break character during the sewer scene after Sky Masterson says “… the air in the mission smells better than the air down here.” To which in the background mumbling was heard “Oh that’s my cologne, uh, my colon.” I know! I know! I am still a 10 year old when people make poop jokes. But there was nothing bad; no divas, no drama, no problems. Just a wonderful group of hard working actors that I respect so much.

I will, however, say there are things that I will miss more:

The improv moments that happened nearly every night in the dressing room between two of the funniest men ever, Kurt and Chris!
The men’s dressing room in unity meowing Star Wars music and the exit music for G&D
DTK mic check performances, especially the joke about the bell!
Jordan’s incredible song library brain
Bryan’s silly funny corny jokes
Sit Down You’re Rocking The Boat!!!!
The impromptu backstage interpretive dance performance by Lucas and Kurt during Adelaide’s Lament
Corie’s drunken stumble at the end of the “If I Were A Bell” scene. It is one of my favorite perfect moments of the show.
Domonic, DTK, and Lucas’ ending of the fugue. Another perfect moment in the show.
David singing “Luck Be A Lady”
The amazing ladies performing “Take Back Your Mink”
Phil serving FACE during the song above. Like serving it UP!
Domonic and Lucas’ nightly bantering which was always oddly inappropriate (more like naughty) but innocent in a way as only BFF’s can be and hilarious
Chris as Nathan Detroit!
Julie’s rendition of Adelaide’s Lament Reprise
Judith’s movie star entrance at the top of the show. Another perfect moment, IMHO.

Speaking of Julie, when describing the owner of Jewel Theatre Company, inspiring is the word that comes to mind when you have the chance to work with her. She works so incredibly hard and at 100% 100% of the time. How she balanced moving her company into a brand spanking new theater as well as performing such a big role at the same time, all while maintaining her sanity and her kindness, I will never know. Her drive to push Jewel forward reminds me a lot of another theatre owner down in Gilroy that I know…

Just like the name implies, Jewel Theatre Company was a gem to work for and I would do it again in a heartbeat. To Julie James and the rest of the JTC family, thank you for the experience. It will always be a precious memory for me.

It’s the Bittersweet Symphony, That’s Life…

HELLO Gentle Reader!!

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These last three months seem to have flown by in the blink of an eye!! I just turned around and whoosh…

Evita opened and closed. I loved meeting so many new people and young talent. It was educational watching Lexi Dorsett Sharp and Jesse Sharp as they continuously sought or created opportunity for themselves. The show had a wonderful run, but then it was on to Boeing Boeing which ended up having the same rehearsal period at the same time as Chitty Chitty, Bang Bang. Even now, I still hear fabulous comments regarding Evita as the audience of Boeing leaves. Lucky for me, we are now two weekends into Boeing and Chitty is set to open next week. So I was very excited about the prospect of possibly having a week or two off to relax or what have you, BUT it turns out my next project, Corridos, begins rehearsals next week. The commute is about twice as long as the other two shows, but I am really looking forward to the experience with The Western Stage Company. After that, then I get a bit of a break before reprising my role as Father Mouse for a children’s play during Christmas. It is a fun little gig and I get to be silly and make children laugh. What’s not to love about it?

While this year has had a number of new experiences and opportunities for me, I have come to find out that I need to pump the brakes a bit and handle some non-theatre business. It saddens me that I need coast for awhile instead of building on my momentum that I have gained these last few months. Selfish of me to say, I know. You don’t have to point it out.

Personal

I try to keep this blog upbeat and free from personal family stuff. Sometimes, though, the family stuff will blend into a topic. Today is such a day. Not to worry, dear reader, I shall be brief. I know I have made mention of my father in the past and have said how incredibly supportive he is of all my endeavors. I have also mentioned that he has had his share of demons, like drugs and alcohol. I have been told that the life he led is beginning to take a toll on him.

My brother told me of an incident where he watched as my dad spoke to his parents, asking them to “come and get him because he is ready.” My grandparents died a long time ago. I never actually met my paternal grandfather. My mom said he has periods of depression and he won’t eat. My sister has said he complains that he has no one to talk to. His own brothers and sisters make no effort to contact him.

As you can see, all of this information has been received from other people and it breaks my heart that I have been so in pursuit of this theater goal that I have brushed off so many things and so many people. The amount of guilt and sadness I feel is hard to admit out loud. So many missed opportunities. With that in mind, I have made it a point to try harder to visit.

Most recently, I snuck in a quick visit on Sunday before my matinee show to find he was in the garage cleaning my mom’s car. He was joking like he used to and it was a good sight, but then to hear, “oh, you hear I’m dying, then you come around.” While I know he meant it jokingly, it was so tough to take. And like most good jokes, there is a kernel of truth, so I have no right to get defensive about that. So I told him, “don’t be selfish. We’re all dying.”

Yeah, that is how my family jokes. You may think it’s harsh, but if you grew up in our house, you would understand.

In order to spend a bit more time with my family, I have decided that it would be best for me not to add anymore projects to my current schedule. I will complete my commitments for 2015 and maybe pick up an acting or improv class. Most of my evenings and weekends will be free and I will spend some time making the rounds and reconnecting with not only my parents, but my siblings as well. We were never really all that close, but it will be nice to tighten the net a bit.

With that in mind, I will be able to see more shows and cheer on more actors and finish completing my own website. SHWAAAA?? Oh yes, kiddies. I will be launching an official artist website soon. It will have production info as well as random backstage footage shot during shows. Just silly stuff. But be on the look out for that announcement.

Thanks for your patience and hopefully, I will see you after one my next few shows!

Love!

You’re A Good Man, Scott Stanley…

Mr. Scott Stanley

Last night, I learned that a theatre friend had passed away. I haven’t learned the details. Mostly because I just saw him like 2 or 3 weeks ago. He was happy and looked healthy. I kinda feel like if I knew how, it would be too real.

This is the first time someone in my theatre family has died, and I don’t know how to take it. I have known him for almost exactly 5 years.

I met Scott for the first time at auditions for Sweet Charity back in 2009. The very first thing he said to me was “I am not a dancer.” I told him “Don’t worry. Neither am I.” He gave this huff of air that said he didn’t believe me so I continued “I just want to see what your sense of movement is. Don’t worry about the steps as much as the energy.” He gave me a little nod and went to the back of the stage.

When we were talking about casting people, his picture came up and I said to Bill “I like him. He’s kinda weird.”

After the first week of choreo, Scott had this frustrated look and I asked him if he was okay. “I can’t do this. I have bad knees.” Good to know. We figured out some alternatives for him but every day I would ask him how his knees were. There was a lot of unfamiliar turning and body angles so I wanted to make sure no one got hurt. Every time he would answer “I’m okay, just gotta watch those knees.” He watched them and he worked so hard. I hope I didn’t make them worse.

Whenever I think of pained knees, he is always the first person that comes to mind. Even when it was my own, during A Chorus Line.

He was a wonderful and kind man. A great supporter of the theatre and an even more enthusiastic participant. I don’t know how he got to every theatre event in the area, but he did. Well at least it seemed that way. Sometimes I would swear he was a time traveller to be able to do it. He was a funny fellow and thought so cleverly that I would look forward to any comments he would make on people’s FaceBook posts. I am going to miss seeing him on the stage or in the audience. I going to miss those great comments.

I can only imagine how those closer to this great guy are taking this news.

Until our paths cross again, my friend, I shall look for your name in those bright lights in the sky.

Rest in peace, Scott.

Walking Into 2015 With Nothing But Optimism…

So far everything that I have read for the Chinese Zodiac Dragon and for the astrological sign of Cancer have been about 85% positive! There are some things to heed during the later part of the year, but isn’t that always the case?

I am truly looking forward to the upcoming year, but you can’t look forward without looking back.

Thank you to the many, many people that helped to make 2014 so incredible.

First, thank you to the amazing cast and fellow staff for Jesus Christ Superstar!! You were so wonderful to work for. You thought me so much about myself and what I still need to learn. You were fun and I loved watching you shine on stage.

Thank you to my WVLOMT family that always makes me feel welcome whether it is as a staff or cast member.

Thank you to Bill Starr. You are such a great person to work with. I adore you and thank you for all of your encouragement, advice, and friendship. Thank you for the opportunity to bring your vision of Bobby Child to life.

Thank you to the cast and staff of Crazy for You! When I felt like it was too much for me, watching you all work so hard made me dig deeper because I didn’t want to let you down. I hope to work with all of you again and again and again.

Thank you to Jen Maggio and Myra Diamond for allowing me to be a part of A Chorus Line even though I missed auditions. It was another fantastic experience working for both of you.

Thank you to the cast of A Chorus Line! You are such beautiful wonderful souls and I was very lucky to share the stage with you. I am so glad no one actually got a case of the sexy ebola.

Thank you to James Kopp and the cast of Super Villain! I have never laughed so hard during the process of putting a show on its feet. It was a joy to get to do another play. I hope I get to do more. Like James is always saying, “I ain’t in my 20’s anymore.” To you young’uns like, Haley and Gaby, thank you for always pretending I am! hahahahahaha!!

Special Thank You’s to Aaron Weisberg, Kevin Brownstein, Valerie Valenzuela-Misra, Ronnie Misra, Judy Steinle, Mike Brothers, Andrea Furtado, Michelle Elrick, Ms. Rhona McFayden, David Lamcke, Amanda Vogel, Emily Goes, Gabby Au, Susanna Wagner, Elizabeth Lawrence, Nancy Kwong, Cameron Kwong, Riley Kwong, Emily Pye Christine Ormseth, Amy Root, Samantha Carson, and Tammy Mackenzie. You have all offered help and support throughout the year and it meant the world to me. There’s no particular order, so don’t read into it. LOL!

Most importantly, Thank you to my munster and my BFF’s (the T.P.B. and J.S.) for never making me feel worse that I never had time to hang out. You are the other half of my life that keeps me going. So much of my heart belongs to you all for keeping me sane and grounded and well rounded. Without you fabulous people, I would be lost. I love you.

So 2015, bring on Life! I have my arms open ready to hug the hell out of you. I am excited for what’s to come. I don’t make resolutions. I feel like when I need to change something about myself, I don’t need to wait til the beginning of a new year. I just want to continue carrying on like I have the past three years. Theatre and friends! That is all I need.

May you all have SAFE and fun and wonderful New Year celebrations.

For the world, I shall still wish for peace and coexistence. It is the same wish every year. I will still hope that mankind will finally open its eyes and hearts to one another.

I wish you everything you want in 2015.

Now let’s go get it!