Author: theactorvist

I love the Theatre. It's my church. It's my joy. I have been performing in plays and musicals for over half of my life, and I would be lost without it. Now more than ever, people are cutting back on everything that is too expensive or unimportant to their lives. As an actor, heck as a person, I don't know of anything that is more important than the arts. Art reflects history. It shows humanity at its worst but also its best. Every day some artistic program is getting cut from a school or a great show goes unseen. Maybe a talented singer isn't able to audition for American Idol. There are a ton of people who live in the South Bay Area of California, who go unseen or unheard. There are many production companies that are just bursting with talent, but people don't see the shows. I will do my best to bring you interviews with local artists of every kind, send out the call for local companies looking to cast people in productions, and much more. Stay tuned because this is only the beginning.

🎼 I’m Gonna Be A Part Of B.A…

So this afternoon is the closing performance of my first show at the Pear Avenue Theatre Company, Super Villain. It has been a blast for sure. It was incredible to work on something that was totally nerdy and way edgier that anything that I have ever worked on in the past. Also, to do it with a company that I never had worked with before makes it that much more memorable. We had some audiences that were just average but we had two nights where the viewers were just catching every reference that was being thrown out there and in turn, we the cast, had a blast. We did have a night where the laughs were few and far between, but most were appreciative of the show. I am apprehensive/anxious about how the show will go over on today’s audience. I know, I know! I can’t control that issue, but I really want this show to close on a high note. So I have my fingers crossed that the average age of the viewer is closer to me than to my grandmother.

After my realization/breakdown with A Chorus Line, I, in earnest, began to seek out different theatre companies and opportunities to work with. I sought advice from my dear friend, Bill Starr, and ran with it. While it scares the ever-loving bejeezus out of me, I forced myself to try those places. I am really glad I did.

While I have had only a handful of auditions at other places (okay, okay! It was only three auditions in total) one of them has extended it’s hand out to me and offered me a role that I have had on the ol’ bucket list.

I don’t know if I am at liberty to tell, but after waiting a week and getting no response if I can or cannot, I am just gonna spill the proverbial beans…

Next May, down in Gilroy, I will be performing the role of Che in Evita!

Evita is the Cinderella story of Eva Peron, who tragically died of cancer at the age of 33. She went from rags to riches, using not just her sexuality, but also her brains. She knew that being smart wouldn’t be enough to get her what she wanted so she used her body as a short cut. I know there is more to it, but that is the Evita for Dummies version. I know there are some Andrew Lloyd Webber haters out there, but what care I? I have loved this show for decades and now I get to be a part of it. I thought that I would never get to do this show because it is so rarely performed and most recently it was done in the Northern Bay Area, but I already had commitments to another show. I thought my chance was long gone.

I am so friggin’ happy that I was wrong! I am past excited to start rehearsals in February that I wanna skip over Christmas and New Year’s and just get to work. He may not know it yet, but my good friend Kevin, offered to help me with music stuffs, so he’s going to be a busy guy! That’s what I love about him, the blind offers. Of course, I have to make it through the opera first.

Oh!

Yes, dear reader, you have read that correctly. I am going to be in an opera. Not singing, no. Are you kidding? I can’t do that. No, my dance teacher is going to be choreographing an opera called Carlotta that takes place in the 1800’s in Spain, I believe. I will be strictly dancing. What I am really looking forward to is that her pieces are always great, but they differ than what she teaches in classes, so it will be fabulous to really dance the heck out of her work. I mean, it’s kind of hard to do it in a class that is full of people. Here there will only be 6.

I am really excited that the first part of the year is shaping up so well. I really look forward to what the second half will bring. Especially after the SF TBA General Auditions!

But THAT is a story for another day.

🎶 I’m gonna be a part of B.A, Buenos Aries – Big Apple! 🎶

I Feel Like Mr. Toad…

If you would have told me that Tech Week for A Chorus Line would truly begin one wild ride, I may have rolled my eyes. It seems like tech weeks have gotten much easier in recent years. I don’t know why. I can remember that first decade of shows and the tech weeks truly living up to the name “Hell Week.” This one started out simple enough and as we progressed further into the middle of the week, I could feel the tension rising through the cast. Don’t get me wrong, there was definitely excitement mixed in there as well, but knowing how exact this show had to be there were repeated clarifications and adjustments.

Then, I got laid off from the nursery. Oy! Right smack dab in the middle of tech, I suddenly find myself without my financial stability. So the practical part of my brain, as small as it is, panics and stresses. But then the actor in me took over and said, this is probably the sign you need to get off of your ass and really try! So I didn’t even think about that situation until after we opened the show. What I did do, however was use it to add to my character. Since all I had was A Chorus Line, it made the determination to make it into that fictitious show all the more real for me.

What I didn’t expect was that because there was so much invested into that “reality” for me, I found this show so much harder to say good-bye to. When we were in rehearsal mode, I never thought I would be so sad that I wouldn’t be dancing these steps with these people eventually. I just thought that it was one more really good show that I was a part of and I will work with some of these fabulous people somewhere else down the road.

Could it be that I now tie the nursery and the show together and I am really mourning the loss of both? I can’t say for certain. While I loved working with the people at the nursery, I was feeling like I needed to move on so I have absolutely no ill will toward those wonderful people. But I will miss them. But because of that little work hiccup, I truly got to experience the out of work actor feeling. It’s one thing to be able to create and pretend the world you need to “live” in for the stage, but to actually really know how “oh shit, how am I going to pay my rent?” feels gave me a link to the physiological changes I experienced. Like when I get really angry my heart beats faster and stronger, I can access that whenever I need to for a scene. Now, I have this link to help me when I next have to create this particular feeling.

I am so grateful for the show because it was an incredible feeling to not only represent this character written for the show but to be able to identify with it not because of where they come from or their sexuality or their religion but because they are actors. I know firsthand how those songs like “I Hope I Get It” and “What I Did For Love” live in that character’s soul because I have lived them too. From the nerves and self doubt at auditions and sometimes even in the rehearsal process to the sacrifices and dedication we give to our time for the theatre.

I don’t know when I will be able to listen to “What I Did For Love” with out bursting into tears. Or looking around to see if I can see those beautiful faces that were on the stage with me. Or recalling all the missed time with friends and family that I cannot re-do because of rehearsals or performances. Or remembering the good times and laughs that I had during all those rehearsals. Or thinking of all the incredible people that I have been lucky enough to call friends over the years. Or being able to help others learn a step or lines at one time or another. It is the ultimate love song to the theatre in my humble opinion.

To the amazing cast that I was so lucky to play with: I hope you know that even though I may not have been one to join in the social gatherings outside of the show that I love you guys so much. It was an honor to be able to share the stage and share our vulnerabilities with each other and the audience. I can only hope that our paths cross again. To our directographer (yes, it is a word… at least I have forced my system to recognize it as one) Jenn Maggio, you are incredible. What a task you had and what you gave us and in turn made us give to the audience was nothing short of magical. And of course all that other stuff I told you after rehearsals.

So for now, I’ll “kiss today goodbye, the sweetness and the sorrow.”

Wish me luck.

The same to you.

One… Back, Back…

Thanks for this picture, Haley and Gaby... — Thanks for this picture, Haley and Gaby…

In almost every show I am in, I hit that point where I can’t consciously remember the steps that are being taught. I just have to trust that my body will remember them as we go. Then later, when I am somewhere quiet, I can recall them and write it down so I know that I actually do know them. Aaaaannnnnddd… we have made it to that point!

So much to learn, so much learned, and so many different tweaks on the same routine have left my brain a big ball of jelly. I actually woke up early because I am not able to sleep thanks to the dances and songs going through my head and I can tell I have been moving in the bed a lot. My assumption is that I was trying to dance in bed, but I cannot confirm this.

I remember during the first shows that I had been cast in, I had so many questions about the right steps and as soon as we were done learning something I would begin chattering away. Usually, it was about the steps and if I had done them correctly or if I found them challenging. In any case, any time the choreographer or director wasn’t talking, I would be talking to someone.

Now, I look back and wonder, was I really asking the questions because I didn’t know? Or was I asking them to feed my ego because I wanted confirmation that I was right? OR was I asking because I wanted confirmation that others were wrong? Over time, I have learned that watching and not saying too much was the best way for me to pick up things. I will do what was asked and if they did it a different way than what they asked, I will just wait for the correction. There is already a lot of stuff going on and other people have questions so why not practice patience? And if it is a style issue, the choreographer would clean that in their runs of the numbers. Personally, I don’t think it is all that important when first learning the steps. The style is easier to get if the mechanics of the steps are in place. Again, that is just my thoughts. Since there isn’t much rehearsal time, I think everyone just wants to know everything right now. It’s a tough place to be in. But you can’t be get the right feel if you are tripping over your feet or your colleagues feet, so…

Having also been in the choreography position, I have found myself doing a step one way because that’s how I learned it but wanted a modified version of it in my work. However, thanks to muscle memory, the old way would win out. Then I would have to say, “Do as I say, not as I do, because as I do is not as I want.” I would get blank looks at first, but slowly the message melted in.

There is so much to this show, I am grateful that most of the blocking is simply standing there and being in the moments. Man, if I had to remember to do that stuff too, I think my head would ‘splode. There is a part of me that feels bad because I am trying to stay focused on the movements, that I have not made much contact with a lot of the other people. There are some that I don’t even know their real names! Oy!

Still they are a fun group, I just can’t focus on that part of it right now. If my leg holds up, I think this is going to be a great experience. But that’s a whole other story.

Only two weeks to go!

Is It Too Soon?…

I know it has been over a month since my last post, but things have just been either keeping me busy or not inspiring enough to write about. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t know why I am even writing THIS post.

slide.001 I can officially say that I have been in productions for over half of my life. Tons of ensemble work, a great handful of incredible roles that I had only dreamed of playing and even some cool character roles. It is an understatement to say that I love theatre.

I am currently working on A Chorus Line. I am loving this experience. The cast is super talented and really fun.

Tonight, we worked on the scene that follows Paul falling and getting injured. Zach asks those left what they would do if they can’t dance. Most people say they will try their hand at other areas of the field. But Sheila has these wonderful lines about her journey:

That’s what I used to say… ” I won’t give up. I’ve got to be a ballerina by the time I’m eighteen” … Then I found out I should be in musical comedy and I said, “Okay, I’ll be a chorus girl – but I gotta be playing parts by the time I’m twenty-one.”

She continues a few lines later:

… Then you’re twenty-five and you say just a couple of years more – well hell, I’m thirty. I mean, how many years do I have left to be a chorus cutie? Three? Four? If I have my eyes done … Well, I don’t want to deal on that level any longer. So, just lately, I’ve been thinking about opening a dance studio. I don’t know … Am I copping out? Am I growing up? I don’t know…

The second time we ran through the scene, all I could think of was the beginning of that second section. How many years? Last week, we were working on the opening and I thought I was going to cry because my knees were screaming. How many years? I have realized that Greg is the perfect role for me because I am too terrified to plan a future. His response in this scene is:

… Darlings. It’s tough all over. That’s why I have no plans, no alternatives – just get me through the day… one day at a time is enough for me to deal with.

That’s how I have been surviving. One day at a time. I don’t like to think ahead. To think ahead, you have to think about where you were. I am too afraid to move forward and upward so I stick to what I know. Too afraid of rejection because I don’t feel confident in what I can do. Too full of self doubt because I was never lucky enough to study the arts as well as those with degrees. Too trapped by sense of duty to keep my stability. All I have with me are my millions of ideas, my years of experience, my instincts, the many classes and my passion for what I do.

And I had this sorrow and anger building up as we worked our way through the night. I began to peek into my past. I saw a lot of “woulda, coulda shoulda” A few tears did manage to sneak through the cracks but I was upstage of most of the cast. Once I got to the car, though, I feel like I vomited my anger and tears out. It was like taking a needle to a water balloon. There was banging on steering wheel and sounds I have never heard myself make. Then on top of that a coworker sent me a text about work which only fed into that anger. After 20 minutes of not being able to control this feeling, I finally reined it in. I was supposed to celebrate a friend’s birthday, but I got to that parking lot and I had another fit. I was in no shape to be with people, so I went home. I am a jerk.

Even as I type this, I can feel my eyes burning with tears and I just want to not think about this anymore. That is not an option though. I feel I owe it to my love of theatre to figure this out. I will learn so much about not only myself, but human emotion and I can add this “information” to my skill set for the theatre.

Some people do theatre because it’s fun. I do it because I have to. Yet, I am too afraid to aim higher and my reason is because I didn’t study the traditional route like the pros did. So there is a sense of not being worthy. For this reason, I have been loitering in local theatre production companies thus causing me to look back and ask, what have I accomplished? A lot of roles for sure, but have I made it a career? Nope. Have I tried? Nah. There is a regret here for the fact that I feel like I have become complacent in my life. Like my desire isn’t as great as others so again, I come to the feeling of being undeserving. Do I feel this way because I was never given the “blessing” to pursue this by not getting a sheet of paper that says “yep, you spent x number of hours and thousands of dollars to earn this so you can officially be an entertainer.” Yes, that is it. Like I was never given permission. I came so close to finishing my first degree, but life got in the way. I know there is the whole go back to school route, but then you have to give up the roles you’ve got lined up.

Okay, so that’s my issue. Now we come to the question, what holds more weight? Degree or experience? Is it worth it to go back? That answer is up in the air at this time.

So what’s the point of continuing on in local theatre in this pattern? Sure, love is powerful, but is it enough?

I want to suffocate in the Arts. I want to drown in creativity with people who have this same need. I want to be able to wake up and find I have somewhere exciting to go. I need to change something because I don’t like how I am feeling right now.

So…

What will you do when you can’t dance anymore?

Luckily, I have never thought of myself as a dancer. My Arts totem (totally stole this concept from my friend Valerie V.) is Acting on top, Singing in the middle, then Dancing. Maybe 2 and 3 are interchangeable. But when I don’t have the chance to do any of that I will need something else to do.

Next week, I have a meeting for a directing gig. I know I said I never wanted to do it again, but directing would be better than not being in the theatre at all.

I have begun writing a musical with my friend, Judy. This has led to a dabbling in finally getting around to writing my one man show.

Still this isn’t a career.

Yet.

God, I hope I get it.

City Lights Shine Bright With Spamalot!!

I wanted to take a picture with the Black Knight.

I have never been a fan of Spam. I did love the acronym that was used when I was younger: Some Parts Are Meat. I don’t know if people still use the joke.

Unlike spam, Spamalot is not merely an entertainment byproduct. Oh no, sirree!

When this show premiered, I didn’t quite know how I felt about it. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the recording though. I’ve listened to the cast recording of Spamalot a few times, but it wasn’t something that I felt I would give repeated spins to, with the exception of “The Diva’s Lament” and “Knights of the Round Table/Songs That Go Like This” Reprise. I love the source material, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But the songs for me at that time seemed overly simple. But then I watched the show… WOW!

Last Sunday afternoon, the munster and I sat in the front row (those poor actors! [I’ll explain in a sec]) excited and yet slightly hesitant about what I was going to see.

As we are waiting, I scan the stage. The challenge with this space is that it isn’t a large stage and it has no proscenium. The set consisted of two grey towers on each side and a long wall across the back of the stage with a set of double doors in the center. Creating a single set design with enough wiggle room for several specific locales is a mind boggling bit of work that I always appreciate, so when Prince Herbert is revealed I was so giddy! I don’t wanna ruin anything for you so that is all I will say. As simple looking as the set looks, it works wonderfully for this afternoon of magic. Kudos to designer Ron Gasparinetti!

In other technical news: I liked most of the costumes, but I was hoping for just a little sparkle on the “Laker” Girls outfits. Okay, a lot more. Just to go with all that energy they had. Other than that, everyone looked great. The number “You Won’t Succeed on Broadway” looked outstanding! My favorite costume moment, however, was the Lady of the Lake’s finale dress! I was totally caught off guard with that. And hearing the gasps from the audience, I wasn’t the only one.

One of the hardest but my FAVORITE parts of a show, in my humble opinion, is the choreography. In past musicals that I have seen here, the choreography was okay. It didn’t make me want to “borrow” any moves or give me any inspiration. It was just kind of there. This is totally a “me” thing. That being said, Jennifer Gorgulho’s work is brilliant! She had a hell of a task, too, with all the musical styles that this show touches on. It made me want to dance, and I was smiling from ear to ear right from the get-go with the “Fisch Schlapping Song”. Ms. Gorgulgo, I am a fan!! I cannot wait to see what you work on next.

The tricky thing about this production was that it used prerecorded music. I have no problem with that. I do think that this is a double edged sword though. As an dancer (I use that term very loosely), I find it comforting to know that the song will always be the same. As an actor though, I think that keeping it “live”ly becomes a challenge because the the song will always be the same. That didn’t seem to be a problem for this cast though. They performed the heck out of each number and as testament, I have had the cast recording on repeat in my car since. The only non-positive mention I have about the music/sound is that the cast isn’t mic’d so on a few occasions the music drowns out the soloist. On the flip side of that though, the music doesn’t quite swell to that full orchestral sound on some of the songs that you would expect to get. Again, I stress this is a super small issue.

Under the direction of Jeffrey Bracco, this show moves so smoothly that you get to the intermission before your sides stop hurting from laughing so much. The jokes all “landed” and I swear I was annoying the lady next to me because I was a friggin hyena! I was literally crying/laughing. And yes, I used the word literally the correct way. I felt bad that the cast had to hear me cackling the entire show, but jeezuz it was just SO funny. Then again, it is Monty Python! This cast must have had a blast at rehearsals.

Speaking of, the cast was joyful and energetic and spot on! Their enjoyment was infectious and made me a little envious. My negative comment here has nothing to do with the cast but the program design because there are no images for the cast, so I can’t point out the ensemble people that I couldn’t stop watching. Boo. But to the female ensemble member that gets her stick taken away from the Diva, YOU ARE DIVINE!!! Your reactions were perfect and your dancing was no joke! Loved watching you. The two tapping gents on the box in the casino number, kudos!! Now, while the cast was fabulous, I HAVE to tell you that there are some brilliant performances here. Nick Manfredi does triple duty as Sir Robin, Guard, and Maynard while Mackenszie Drae steals the show with his Sir Lancelot, Guard, French Taunter, Ni, and Tim (which slayed me when he says “Below me is a cave…”). Their characters were not only so rich but they all had slightly differing accents. Staying in the moment with all that and quick witty dialogue is remarkable. However, Josiah Frampton as Patsy, James Snell as Sir Galahad (which has my favorite scene regarding the crowning of a king by a lady in a lake) and Black Knight (second favorite scene) and Ryan Mardesich as Historian, Not-Dead Fred, Minstrel and Prince Herbert also give incredibly wonderful performances. Leading these knights is the great Ken Boswell. It is hard to be the strong leader with so many funny scene stealing characters around but he does a fantastic job.

Do yourself a big favor, go to this site and order your tickets right now! Click the green box under the company name. I swear it is ready to sell out! I will probably go and see it again, it was just that good!

City Lights Theatre Company is in downtown San Jose on 2nd Street. No seat is a bad seat, trust me! Order your tickets NOW!!!