🎼 And I’ll Take With Me The Memories, To Be My Sunshine After The Rain…🎶

Hello Gentle Reader,

I have been unfortunate to find this sad news in a multitude of ways. First, a phone call, then an email, and in my mailbox today, I found a letter. The sad news in question, dear friend, is that the place that I have called my theatre home has announce that after 60 years, they would be closing the doors.

This is devastatingly sad information to find out. And as hard as it is for me, I can only imagine how it must feel for the board of directors and some amazing friends who have given so much time, energy and love to this endeavor.

I have been so incredibly lucky to have had the opportunity to experience so many firsts with this incredible non-profit. Before I get in to any of that… buckle up, this is gonna be a little long.

Dear WVLO,

When I walked in to my first audition with you, I could never have guessed that for the last 33 years I would get to play so many incredible characters on that Saratoga stage under your banner.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to WVLO for being a safe space to play, grow, learn, experiment and connect. I learned so much with this company and many of those things that have made my life so much better and more complete. This was the first space that I felt safe enough to try new things but most importantly, was allowed to try them. I don’t know that I would have had that chance in other places.

My first show should have been King & I back in 1993. The production had just started rehearsals and I was a late addition. At this time, I was heavy into competitive dance. It was an all boys group and we had won seven championships for our category. One of those wins got us into a national competition that was going to be at the event center right by Disneyland. The only down side was that this occurred during the tech week and opening weekend of the show. It was decided that maybe this wasn’t the right time to try and be in a show since I was committed to this event. I was bummed but it made sense. I didn’t know what “tech week” was at that time or how much of a commitment that alone is.

However, I met Nancy and the Hand family at that time. I also met the Pincus’ and I am pretty sure, their daughter Judy. I never would have guessed that these people whom I have come to adore, we be so gracious to welcome me back to work as part of the stage hand crew for Meet Me In St. Louis. I had a worry that there would be some sort of hesitation to have me work on another show. Silly thought.

MMISL is where I got hands on experience being part of the group that works on the physical transition of the stage into a new look between scenes, or helps hand out props to the actors and sometimes assists with a quick change, just to name a few tasks. Without a stage crew, a show would be impossible to happen. At this time, I was still in high school and my drama teacher was directing the show. Since I was still competing, I knew that I most likely couldn’t be on stage. I spoke to my teacher about it and he made the suggestion of stage hand. I was able to compete and miss a weekend of shows so that worked out really well. It was a lot of fun and I had learned a new part of the theater world. Up until this point, I had only been a performer. Having the chance to do backstage tasks, helped me to learn how each job in the project was super important. It wasn’t just about the actors on stage.

It was this point that I truly fell in love with the world of the theatre.

In 1995, I had given up competitive dance, mostly because I wanted a job so I had a little spending money of my own and found that my drama teacher was once again directing for WVLO, so I auditioned for West Side Story. As part of the ensemble, I was so jealous at how much dance there was in the show but that I didn’t get to do. I would jokingly say this show should have been called Jet Boys and Shark Girls. And even though I was envious of the dances that I wasn’t a part of, I still got to dance quite a bit and it was SO much fun. The team of John Healy and Debbie Norris always put on a great production.

Then, later that year, I was cast as Tulsa in Gypsy. My first featured role that was outside of a school setting. From there, it has become a lot of featured roles and an occasional choreography gig and then a directography gig, the only thing I didn’t do with WVLO was strictly a director’s gig.

Since that time in 1993 as a stage hand, I have always tried to make a point of helping other areas of a production if I was able. Whenever I am an actor, I always offer help to costumes. And when I am just doing choreography. Ok, pretty much every show I offer help to costumes. 🤭

While learning a lot of this stuff in school and conservatory is great, I only really ever got the chance to be hands on when working at WVLO. My learning was focused on performing, so all the other aspect of theatre was really just reading and talking with people maybe seeing that person at work. Never actually touching a lighting board to see how to blend color or creating a sound cue.

I am really going to miss this place. I feel truly lucky that I was invited to be a part of the Diamond cast for the 60th anniversary celebration. But even more lucky that I got to be on stage as two dear friends, Nancy Hand and Judy Pincus actually got to take that bow that they so very richly have deserved.

With my entire heart, thank you to WVLO for being such a massive part of my life and for everything you have offered to me. I thank you for every person that I have ever had the chance to share that stage with. I thank you for the incredible people that I have had the chance to learn so much from behind the scenes. I thank you for the billions of times that I have laughed so hard I lost my breath. I thank you for the hundreds of dance steps I got to make. I thank you for the chance to play characters that took me out of my regular life and let me figure out someone else’s story while I was trying to figure out my own.

But most importantly, thank you for the amount of love you poured in to me. I would not be who I am without that and I am so sad that I will never get to repay it. – j.

Thank you, Kind Reader, for letting me share that little story. It has been stuck in my chest all week. I have been trying to think of ways to save this place. I am sure that the group has already thought of these things a million times. Hoping against everything that there is a way, and I am sure there is. I would love to be the person to revive this brand. I have some ideas and I have some insight where the struggles are, now it is just a matter of how to get these dots connected.

I am sure that I have mentioned at some point in the last 20 years of writing, that I would love to have my own theatre company. I don’t think that will actually happen, but what if I could help to reestablish one?

Do you have any place that means a lot to you that helped you grow? Or maybe some nonprofit that you love because of the mission? Let me know what are some of the reasons you love those places.

As always, Dear Reader, stay safe and alert. Take care of yourself and those around you. Until the next time our paths cross… ❤️

🎼 And I Wish You Joy and Happiness, But Above All This, I Wish You Love… 🎶

Hello Gentle Reader!

Happy New Year! We are one week into 2023 and I am hoping you are all doing things that you enjoy. I have been working from home this week, so I have had the chance to catch some shows while answering emails. I have been watching a lot of the charming show, We’re Here and getting such a kick out of watching Hot Ones. And I have been loving them enough to watch more than one episode at a time. I don’t normally binge anything because I get antsy and NEED to do something or grab a yarn project to work on to pull my attention away cuz I get bored. It is crazy. With so much stuff to watch and enjoy, I get bored. I don’t think I know any other actors who say they are bored with an outlet of their craft. I should shut up before I get in trouble. 🤭 I really think it is an attention thing, but that is just a guess.

But, back to the topic at hand. Whenever I work on building a character and look to find my motivations I always try to base every decision from the perspective of love. I do this because I honestly, personally, believe in life, there is nothing worth fighting for more than love. It doesn’t have to be physical love; it could be anything.

I know I have mentioned this before in a past post. I just can’t remember how far back or how often (I try not to be too repetitive, let me know if I am, ok?)

I love my life. With all its hardships and challenges and chaos, it is pretty good. The problem that I am struggling with, Kind Reader, is that I can’t look in the mirror and say that I love myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I have accepted myself in all my flawed glory, from the dried skin on the heel of my left foot to my bum knee to my slightly lazy right eye to the annoying frizzy greying hair on my head to my tendency to obsessively worry about thing to my battles with memory. I don’t mind these things about myself, but I do wish that I didn’t have the worry and memory issues. So I continue my journey on figuring out the best way to get better at adapting to them.

Please don’t think this is a New Year’s resolution post. I don’t believe in them and hold them in the same low regard as Thanksgiving. I know that people often say ‘it a time for giving thanks for what you have and your friends and family.’ Shut up. Just stop it with that nonsense. If you aren’t grateful every single day of the year for what you have and the amazing people in your life, you need to rethink that life right now, Resolutions are the same, why do you need to wait until the start of a new year to put all of this pressure on your shoulders? ‘But it is a clean slate… blah blah blah’ If you really want to do it, why wait? You have the motivation now, why wait until January 1, every day is a clean slate as is the beginning of every week, month and heck hour if you really wanna get into it. Not to judge anyone’s decisions, but those ideas that society holds up is so limiting and should be thrown out like trash. But I digress…

One of the things that I did happen to watch was the Lizzo concert for her latest album “Special.” I had the biggest smile on my face the whole time and was in the best mood after. As a fan of her music, I was just happy to be hearing the music, but to watch her and see the joy she has sharing her creations with the audience was a bonus. Not only that, there were a couple of times where you can see that moment where she is still grateful for these moments. Her music is filled with positivity and encouragement to love yourself and sometimes a it can be a little therapeutic. 😂 The inclusivity she brings to the table is a breath of fresh air and her audacious notion that being in love with yourself is the best kind of love because then your are unstoppable. This idea is beautiful. I love it. I am fascinated by it. I am intrigued by it. I want to know if she is right.

So I am going to use my curiosity and try and find the answer. I will keep you posted on what I find. Who know? Maybe I will even end up actually loving myself and to quote the singer “it’s about damn time!”

Thank you, Dear Reader, for continuing to follow along on this journey with me. I always appreciate the chance to bend your ear.

Until next time, stay safe and alert. Be kind and take care of yourself and those you care about.

❤️

🎼I Wanna Be Where The People Are…🎶

Hello Gentle Reader!!

I hope you have been keeping safe and healthy. I have been hermitting (is that a verb?) {I guess since “friending” is a verb now, I don’t see how hermitting can’t be far behind thanks to quarantine.}

Turkey Day has come and gone and Christmas is right around the corner. Have any of you had a hard time finding footing this second round surge of COVID cases? I will be fine for two weeks, very nearly productive and everything, but then I hit this wall of “tireds” that seems to come from nowhere. I don’t know if it is just a shut down because I have TOO MANY choices of what I can do, or if it is another form of depression. I just lay on the couch and sleep. My head screams, get up and get going, but my body just wants to be still. The cold is not really an issue for me, so it isn’t because I am all warm and cuddly as I am vegging out. As I write this, I have all the windows wide open welcoming in the crisp cool breeze that is softly circulating through the apartment. There was even a handful of times that I had inspiration to write, but then I found myself on the couch surfing TV but not really watching anything.

I marvel at the battle that was within.

I am fascinated that my very nature of not wanting to waste time doing nothing gets defeated by this “something” that I don’t even comprehend. I am sure I have mentioned that I can’t binge stuff because I feel like I am wasting time. After two, MAYBE three episodes, I have to get up and do something, anything. Yet, I wasn’t “seeing” things on TV and I wasn’t feeling anything other than lack of feeling. The amount of apathy that I had while on my own was astounding.

Dear Reader, it makes me wonder what is going to happen when the world finally returns to something similar to what we used to know. Will I want to get back out and do the activities that I used to enjoy? Will I want to go out and have drinks? Will I want to spend any more time outside that I absolutely need to? All of these questions make me REALLY apprehensive of the big question that looms in my brain… Will I want to audition anymore?

Honestly, I don’t even know.

The future is full of unknowns. That is really scary.

It is also full of potential. That really gives me hope.

“I wanna be where the people are. I wanna see, see them dancing.”

I wanna be dancing too! One thing I never give up on is love. I honestly believe that when there is nothing, we fight for love. Not just physical love, but any kind of love/passion, and as we head into a new year, with a NEW PRESIDENT!!!! YAY!!!!, and the potential for two vaccines, I have hope. My fingers are crossed, Kind Reader, that with hope comes that drive that I had before my world got lonely.

Until next time… Please stay safe, Sweet Reader. I am wishing all the best to you and your families along with the happiest of holiday wishes just in case I hit that wall again and don’t make it back on until 2021. I send love and positivity to you all.

You Are Love And Loved…

Hello Gentle Reader,

Things have been a bit insane in California as of late. There are still some fires burning, but a lot of them have been contained. The smoke has been just sitting over large parts of the state creating a day long dusk lighting. It made it hard to tell time without looking at a clock.

I tried to take pictures of the strange light, but every image seemed to be color corrected. All of them looked as though it was just a normal regular CA day. So odd.

I still haven’t heard from the doctor for my ear appointment from yesterday’s post. Just waiting and waiting… in this weird light.

While I wait, Dear Reader, I just wanted to take a small bit of time to acknowledge that today, September 10, 2020, is World Suicide Prevention Day. With COVID-19, the upcoming presidential elections, high unemployment rates and the holiday season right around the corner, I know things can seem a little tough. Things can feel like they are suffocating you. Things might seem like they will never get better. You may feel like no one cares or understands you. You may believe that you are not loved.

I want to state very clearly…

Things will get better. It may not be right away, but it will get better. It won’t always feel like you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. When that happens, PLEASE talk to a friend if you feel comfortable enough. If you don’t feel comfortable, there are many resources to help you. Here are some options.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 in English and 888-628-9454 for Spanish.
TrevorLifeline, a suicide prevention counseling service for the LGBTQ community, 866-488-7386.
Crisis Text Line is reachable by texting to 741741 (US and Canada), 85258 (UK), and 50808 (Ireland)
Send me an email! I won’t judge and I will listen with every intention to help.

Please know that the world may seem big and vast, but it does still need you. You are loved and there is hope.

There is always hope – even in the darkest of times, there is hope.

Until next time, my Wonderful Reader, stay safe and alert. Be there if your friends need help. Reach out if you need help. Most importantly, have hope!

I love you!

Let’s Create A Hashtag…

Dear Gentle Reader,

When Madonna released her first single for the Rebel Heart album, she made a claim. At her Grammy performance, she said she wanted to start a revolution of love. I was super stoked to hear that. The only problem was that when I got the album, there wasn’t enough of that “love revolution” theme on it.

I use twitter, instagram, and the good ol’ Facebook in different ways because, well, they are different mediums. I try my darnedest to post different things on each. I have a hard time sharing the same thing because (as I have mentioned on several occasions) I don’t like repetition. I don’t know why it bothers me so much, but it does.

But I like idea of a revolution of love. 2017 is going to be a challenge. It is a government transition and there will be shake ups and melt downs. So, I want to set us all on a positive road by dropping a bomb on you. LOL! Well, I am calling it a love bomb.

The word bomb is a horrible name, but I want this to work just like a bomb.

When I think of bombs, I imagine the thing landing and as it bursts, it sends out a wave of destruction. The idea of this particular bomb is to share something I love about you via a social media timeline. Hopefully, you will feel like joining me and post something on someone else’s timeline using the tag. Basically, the feeling is like the shrapnel, the effect, and I hope it makes you want to send a bomb of your own.

It’s a little silly I’ll admit, but why not do it? We could use a little heartfelt silly in the world. The only bad part about it is that for a true hashtag, one must only use words. I think is important to use the icon ❤️ though. Not just because I worry someone may confuse this with the actual spelled out tag of “love bomb” They are essentially the same, but I love the idea of the image of the heart because of the point at the bottom of it. Like it is going to dig in and the rounded ends are getting ready to explode and spread the feeling.

So my dear reader, expect to see a lot of #❤️bomb and #BEDLaM from me in the coming weeks. BEDLaM will show as a tag so if you wanna see all the #❤️bombs I am doing, you can find it with the BEDLaM tag.

To you Gentle Reader, I love you because you choose to share a little bit of your time with me. I thank you from the deepest parts of my ❤️ #❤️bomb #BEDLaM